"Biological Error"

Some people say that if an individual is not so drawn to a member of the opposite sex, in biology, that’s some kind of error.

Others who hold similar views have supported this opinion. Well it may hold some kernel of truth. It may very well be true that biologically it’s an "error" if such a term has any real meaning for someone to be Homosexual. By pursuing an individual of the same sex, procreation becomes an impossibility. If the natural purpose of every organism is to procreate, that their offspring may also procreate indefinitely, then I have no argument. If it happens to be true, that the purpose of life is simply reproducing the old generation, then I cannot deny the fact of the statement that Homosexuality is some kind of “biological error”. I can present no argument that I genuinely believe, no objection that I sincerely hold in precision. That is, at least, if it is true, that life holds no purpose than creating offspring.

If we are to accept this morbid description of “biological error” of a possible meaning of life and if we accept it to be true that procreation is the only purpose, then we must also accept that a bond of love holds no purpose than this. In the case of affection, must we turn away from what our hearts tell us? Must we believe that our eyes are lying to us, and must we reason that since affection and kindness produce no children, they are some kind of “error"? And that everything we once knew to be life becomes sacrilege in this ideology?

In this case of “errors” in biology and in society, everything that creativity has spawned becomes heresy. Everything that an independent mind can create becomes taboo. And those things which make the heart soar with euphoria are condemned. Poetry becomes vanity, art becomes self-loathing, and music becomes irrelevant. Since they are incapable of producing more children, of increasing the population, they are unimportant. Can anyone be so brazenly cold to hear the serenity of music, to see the beauty of art, to feel the tranquil nature of poetry -- to understand the depth and meaning of expression, and to reply, "This is but an error in biology." What sort of human being can be so deaf to beauty, so blind to peace, so desensitized against the very things that bring purpose? I do not believe that a person can be so depraved. It is but natural to desire, to express our hearts, to speak our minds, to act as we like, so long as no others are hurt.

It may very well be true that Homosexuality can be called "a biological error". Because of this, we would have to regard every artistic expression, every gentle touch of affection, sympathy for pain, and empathy for life as "biological errors" as well. Whether this is true or not, I will not refrain from saying what I think, I will not hold back from what my heart feels. If I were to do this, I would be a traitor of thought, and a coward of love. Since it is in every man's own interest to be honest with himself, poetry becomes an avenue of expression, artwork becomes a release of emotion, music becomes the explosion of thought. They may very well not relate to the procreation of the species, but happiness and peace are themselves intrinsic values that we should never rest in seeking. To admit exhaustion to the forces of iniquity would be the ultimate surrender.

If a man finds it in his heart and mind that he is attracted to those of the same gender, then we should do nothing to prohibit this. If he can feel the same for a man the way he feels for a woman, then why is it that some refer to it as a profanity? It would be committing a disgrace to truth and justice if one were to call such a profanity. The emotions of peace and wholeness that take over our minds at the thought of affections, these are but the same emotions that a man can still have for a man, or a woman for a woman. No relationship can be condemned as a source of obscenity when the partners involved hold a genuine affection for each other. Perhaps the message I am trying to express is this - That sex and love are nothing to be ashamed of regardless of what we are told by our peers, our teachers, our families and communities. To condemn a man for choosing to love a man instead of a woman is no different than to condemn a man for choosing to express himself with poetry instead of art. It is but a preference, and no one suffers at the choice of either.

Liberty, justice, and peace may very well be the greatest standards we seek. To deny a man his right to express himself, to ban one sexual orientation or one form of art, is to commit a crime against liberty and justice. And we cannot think that this is any different than when a man is discriminated against for the opinions he harbors. To deny a man his right to sexuality is just as profane an action it is to deny a man his right to expression.

A man's sexuality does not destroy his natural attraction to goodness. That whatever a man does by himself alone, he may very well still hold charity and generosity in heart towards humanity because, he is himself, a Human. If you must know anything, know this - Those preferences or characteristics of a person are rarely intrinsically bad. And so long as a man's personal habits do not cause suffering or pain to others, it must be truly a sin to hold them up as a symbol of brutality, and to hold them down as a plague to this world.

Whatever people do to homosexuals because of their undeniable nature which harms none and whatever people do to these comrades of goodness, should understand that they are only razing the principles that will lead to a better world.
Whatever people inflict on someone because of a choice they made that causes no misery to others, they are only doing a disservice to the cause of humanity.

CHA CHA MY ASS

Clearly, the Constitutional Committee wants the Filipino people do dance to the tune of the CHA CHA. But Filipinos must oppose this if all of the proposed changes that would remove the basic principles that would make the Philippines a better and more progressive democracy would remain according to their wishes- the wishes of the few. If the CHA CHA would push through, the Declaration of Principles and State Policies would be in its worst form, because it would fail to protect the rights of majority of the Filipino people; would fail to promote the common good, and would fail to promote the general welfare. Even the importance of the private sector and private enterprise would be absent, and the country becomes open to government monopoly. Furthermore, the Agrarian Reform Program, NGO’s and sectoral representations, all these would lose their significance as they have been deleted from the proposed Charter.

Discourse #1

I just realized how mature we have become to our craft when Nonito and I had a little discourse over my facebook post “Kuya Ronnie”.

Nonito: maybe now, the reason why i am not completely happy would be because i've stopped doing what i'm really passionate about which is dancing and performing... there was a higher ecstacy when you perform not just for yourself but for GOD, for the people you represent through the dance but also for the audience. it was always in our prayer that through our dance we could uplift our nation’s culture and educate, revive or ignite the audience’s sleeping patriotism. I could say it was our very first real jobs. .. and now I soo miss it completely. … =’(

Aiken: hay as.in.. Dancing has never been the same to us when we entered Kahayag. it did become a new reality with much responsibility to education. The most difficult thing to do as a performing artist is the way you educate people through your craft. It takes real artists to do such thing. and it takes time to become one.. and I must say that I'm so proud we were able to do that nitz...

Nonito: actually we didn't just do it ken but we actually lived it... as in. hahays...

My Story

I twist the clown's face so that it evolves into my happy face reflecting in the bathroom mirror. I hold authority over my creation. I sculpt friendships out of an ideal. I mold beauty from impossible dreams. I chisel acceptance from my imagination. I fool myself every day. My perpetual game misleads me. I am willing to be cheated into happiness. I'm happy because my story is believed. I will my smiling image to hold true. Every time I replay the image in my mind, its holes are filled in, its attached authenticity is stronger, and my faith in it is renewed.

But the mirror merely shows an unreliable reflection of myself. I have never seen me. I can only guess at who I am. The author of my story should be one who is uncluttered with self-pity, unmarked with greedy desires, cleansed of dependence, and has her feet planted firmly on the ground. I'm still trying to find my author, trying to peel away the fermented shelter that I'm crouching behind. I'm there, underneath the varnish, shouting for help to be rescued from the sugary syrup I've created from seeping in. I'm not going to pull me out, however. I've decided that digesting the sticky syrup will be good for me. The clown reminds me daily that my smile must be firmly stuck onto my face-it's part of the rules of the game. Therefore, I cannot tell you what my story is. I haven't hired anyone to write it yet.

...I'm not sure if I am prepared to bring my daydreams, illusions and visions to life. I'm scared that my imagined story won't be better than the story I threw out. If my creation fails, what will I have to keep me waking up and breathing? My images, ultimately, control me.

An attempt to poetry

To A New Seson
By Aiken Emmanuel G. Quipot

The scorching heat of humid days
pierced through the city smug,
trapped into the hazy cloud of dust
from the rumblings of engines and tires
finally into my depths.
Of confusion, I let it in ironically.
After all, the tragic has to come
in one way or another
The rose’ cold, feebled by the strength of words -
departure.
Numb, soon it’ll rest eternally
Under the catacombs of my entity’s resent
Day by day it loses its grip
A petal is left however
Unless the warmth is over,
survival may have its chance
Yet the season still hasn’t howled its final rage
and the last cry would be forgotten.
The scorching heat of humid days
dwells a sweeping killer sound
for a moment now, but not tomorrow
in a day of drizzle –
that, to grow once more
and open another bud.

There's gotta be more to life

As I face this empty screen outside my room in the midst of the exceptional haste of Bangkok under the moonless sky, I came to think about what’s there for me to do in this world. I was once in a swarm of people out there who didn’t have anything in mind aside from enjoying what life was dumping in to the hoard – family, friends, school, family, friends, school, and just that. Studying seriously wasn’t really my kind of thing way back high school school and college. It was more like just going to class than really studying. Was I obliged to have an ambition of some sort so as not to suffer this thing that gets me today? Was I supposed to really study and really get out from the scholastic world with flat As on my transcript and as what wanderers say, “graduate with flying colors”? Then what? At the end of the day it will all be the same. The real world presents nothing but cliché. Nurses will be nurses, med techs will be med techs, engineers will be engineers, journalists will be journalists, lawyers will be lawyers, and the list goes on from there and stops when nothing really comes along but call centers (why not?). A professional friend of mine once said, "My profession is my life, my calling, this is what i do to live and survive, and so to many others out there." Or is it? For years of peeping on other people’s lives in the real world, I question if life really has a deep meaning to take into account aided by the fact that a fresh graduate or any other person just have to take whatever jobs there is to survive? Is it true that life has no meaning after all aside from the barrage of meanings people put into it? – a work and a pay check bi-monthly, as for artists, show the world how art can move people’s outlooks, live the day like it’s the last for the adventurers? Maybe. Maybe this is what life is all about. If not, I don’t know what is. Yet I always discern somehow that there’s still something left unsought about. I always think that there’s a point in our lives when we follow our mind’s dreams instead of fulfilling what our hearts are yearning for. But there will come a time of reversion reserved for us to unravel and begin thinking what our lives real purpose is. We all have missions in this world, given to us by a higher being from the time we’re delivered out into this inconvenient truth. With all these accounts swirling in my head, I’m still left with nothing at the end of the day, a dark world at the end of the tunnel. In a couple of months I may take advantage of whatever chances come along my path and start standing on to my own two feet – work in a publishing company or worse comes to worse, work in a call center. If this is the way a battle to content has to be struggled, I’m counting myself in. Though it’s never that easy, I still cling on to fantasies of a hastened success to life so I may do what I really wanted since then.

I don’t wanna be just another person you know! I have a purpose! I have a purpose! And I don’t want anyone’s foot down my throat! Dammmnit! (joke time!)

What Distance Gives

By Edith Lopez Tiempo

When you reach for me in that obscure
World where like ashes of the air
Your eyes and hands and voice batter
With a stark and ghostly urgency
The transparent doors of my closed lids,
I struggle to confine the precarious grace,
The force, the impulse of this fantasy;
Yes, I grieve. But in its sure
Wise way it is this grief that bids
The ghost to go.
This is the reality we stand to lose:
That the push of muscle strength
Is also the dear enfolding brute embrace
Of reason shocking all our length,
The loss is gain for the will to choose
The distance-given right to know.

An Answered Prayer

Now you see I went to Laos to, what most nomads call “exit” from Bangkok and revert along with hundreds of travelers and trekkers from all over the world just to get a multiple-entry visa to Thailand. The 18-hour drive back and forth was reasonably worth the exertion and sore anticipation (hala rhyming) when we finally had our passports pasted with the visa. As to my attempt not to spoil my trip just sitting around and couching my self in the hotel room (which I commonly do when I’m in a hotel), I frantically went out and made friends with a bunch of travelers and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in a van with them on my way to a night bar with the assurance of me not being left behind and drive my self back to the hotel alone.

“So you’re staying in that hotel huh…”, asked Thomas Lekhal, a European exchange student.
“Yeah.. so do you right? With them?”
“Oh no.. we stay in a different hotel.”
“What do you mean stay in a different hotel? I always see u guys there”
“Yes.. we go there to eat. But we don’t stay there”
“Holy Cow! How am I gonna get back to that hotel?”

I didn’t even know the hotel’s unusual “Laoish” name or the address. From then on my hands were literally shaking. And with my occasionally foolish mind-set, I was making up pictures of my self being left behind and lost in Laos with no sufficient money to go back to Thailand. Being so desperately in search for answers, there was nothing else I could’ve done but pray. “God please get me home safely”. I realized now that I wouldn’t have gotten any satisfaction from that night out if I hadn’t just left my worries behind for a couple of hours coz there was just nothing else I could’ve done but pray. “Just enjoy the night and worry later.” So I did.

To make the long story short, I had fun with my crowd. The conversations were endless as we talked about our respective countries and what was there to see. Just right after two towers of beer, I realized that I had the agent’s number… so I called and what I got was “how could u be so dumb not to get the hotel’s card? I don’t know the hotel’s name either. I’m giving you the agency owner’s number. Call him.”

Gee!!! That was a burn!

“Hi Mr.. Thai guy (I forgot the name). Aiken here… (I had to make the English slowly and simple for him to understand hehehe). I’m one of your tourists in Laos. I’m out with some of my fellows and it so happened that we don’t stay in the same hotel and the bad news is that I’m just the only one here staying in the other hotel. I’m sure you know the names of the two hotels?

“What? Where are you?”

“In a bar.. I just wanna know the names of the two hotels. No need to worry.”
And so I thought.

“Thai Lampon. And I forgot the other one.”

And before I could say “thank you”, he hanged up.

What the?? Ok. Thai Lampon. I straight away rushed to the circle and asked if they were staying in Thai Lampon. Coz if they were, there’s no one I could’ve ever thought to ask for a hotel’s name which I didn’t even know if it still existed at that point in time. It was no where to be found.

“No.. we don’t stay there.. that’s probably your hotel.”

Thank God! My prayer was just answered. Chances are that Mr Agent could’ve remembered the other hotel and not mine. God was just too good. And Just to make sure that it was the right name, I went down and asked the bar attendant if he knew such place. He didn’t.

“Wait, I’ll ask a taxi if he knows”, he said.

So I waited.

“Hmmm… there’s no Thai Lampon here”

“But that’s where I’m staying.”

“Wait, maybe you mean Khai Lamphon.”

And he pointed to a direction, a long road which i unworriedly thought led to my hotel. i was kinda positive.

“Ok. Thank you very much…”

I went up to join the group again. The drinking session turned into a night club dancing party. Anyhoo, after couple of hours, we packed up all our conversations up and called it a night and bid everyone goodbye.

I went up to the bar attendant again and asked if he could call a taxi for me.

“I can take you there if you want.”

“Really? You’ll that?”

“Oh sure. Just making sure tourists in Laos get home safe.”

He took me home on his motorbike and I couldn’t have asked for anything like it. Seeing Loas at night on a motorbike was more than a consolation.

“Oh God! How could I thank you?”

A Credit To Sadness

Sadness has overcome us all. Either caused by a relative or close friend's death or from someone who broke our hearts. We all handle situations differently, some good, some bad. But what makes us who we are is not defined by our times of happiness, but by our times of sadness.

untitled

Breaking up with someone you care about is one of the toughest decisions any of us will ever have to go through. Dealing with the pain and heart break is never easy. We just have to live the days as they are set out and not live in the past.

bittersweet life

For wherever the sun rises and sets, in the city's turmoil or under the open sky on the farm, life is much the same; sometimes bitter, sometimes sweet.

of losing the people we love

We can dwell on what was, or we can talk about what is. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in losing the people I love, it would probably be this - All that really matters is making sure that the people we love know that we love them.

butterflies

When it comes to relationships, maybe we are all in glass houses and shouldn’t wear stones. Because u can never really know… some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less… than butterflies.

who needs a date?

I used to think those people who sat alone at starbucks writing on their laptops were portentous posers. Now, I know. They are people who have recently moved in with and out from someone. As I looked around, I wondered how many of them were mid-fight like my self. The hardest thing about fighting in relationships as supposed to any streets around the world – No referee. There’s no one to tell you which comments are below the belt or when to go to your separate corners. This is the time were I decided to just sit back and think about EVERYTHING and I realized that my life is meant for me and not for anyone else. No one’s meant to be alone in this world… it’s the perfect place to be single… this world is our date. And as I was scanning all the faces I thought who needs a date? I can have my cake and eat it too, and my frap and drink it too.

wahehehe

A couple of weeks and way too much thoughts later, I have entered an interesting chapter of my life – I have outgrown the people of my past and not quite grown into the people of my future. Why is it in a world of billion men you always see the one you don’t want and never see the one you… oh wait… as I move away, I had a thought – maybe some people are traps… sometimes they bring you down.. and sometimes, right now, they get u soo high. Damn! It would’ve been so cool if I hadn’t looked back.

i know this is stupid but...

love exists to give you pain. happiness happens along the way,, like a foundation of some sort for the pain you'll gonna get right after...it's just like living to die. we all live to die. that's what we live for. just like love. we love to get hurt... or... we love and get hurt.

shit happens

shit happens... especially when traitors come along the way. well, i might aswell agree to what most people say - love really isn't enough... tsk tsk. just sad.

a repost for verna

coz verna's ranting about how aging gets too tough, lemme just repost my version of it. hahaha

here's verna's post.. ai, belated happy birthday to claudine! i mishuuu so much.

verna's:

"Happy Birthday Claudine!"

Dirgy asked me yesterday if it was Claudine's birthday today, and I told him yes and that she's turning 24.

"Eeew. Too old!" ang reply sa buang na Dirgy.

I laughed, then I realized all of us are going to follow suit. 24 does sound old. (Oops! Sorry Bam. Hehe.) I texted Mich about it, and she also felt the same. The two of us are going to be 24 come December, and even if it's still months away - I know it's inevitable. I will be 24 this year! Then come 25, then 26, and the next thing you know - you're out of the calendar. Is this why older people make a fuss about the calendar? I'm starting to feel that I'll soon be doing the same.

Aging (I hate the word) seems to come naturally these days. I can still remember the moments when I wanted to grow up so fast. It's just funny, because now I'm starting to feel the need to hit the pause button somewhere. I don't know how though, but I just want to.

This is such a depressing birthday post for a friend. Just mind the big green letters, consider the succeeding words trash. Huh! Yey! Haha.

mine:

It all begins with the famous phrase, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As children, we think the words "growing up" mean becoming like mom and dad. It means having a job, being able to cook dinner, and knowing how to pay bills. We are too young to understand the real concept behind those two dreadful words. If only someone had told me the truth, I could have prepared for the shock. I hate growing up, and getting older really stinks.

The phases of growing up are like a date gone wrong. They start off real nice and eventually smack you in the face. I remember back in kindergarten when there used to be nap time. Oh how I took it for granted! I'm not even sure if I know what the word "sleep" means now. And if school couldn't get more difficult over the years, someone came along and decided we needed to learn languages other than English. As if my English wasn't bad enough, now I have to learn how to speak in gibberish.

Growing up causes the "unthinkable" to happen. When I was little, I really should have taken advantage of pure skin, no wrinkles, and the phrase "eat your vegetables." Now, I have to use Clearasil, undereye cream, and drink Fit n’ Right! What could possibly be good about becoming old, fat, ugly, and bald? I used to have energy, but now I have to drink all sorts of energy drink to wake myself up. It used to be that when I went to get my hair cut, my stylist would say, "Look how shiny and thick your hair is." Now I hear, "Okay, what should we try today to give your hair some volume?" Not to mention that the women have the privilege of losing their figures, becoming less attractive, and receiving lumps of cellulite in their backside. That's when they must say, "Goodbye bikinis!"


Growing up brings more responsibilities. It used to be that my mom would come in my room every morning and say, "Time to get up!" Now I wake up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock going "beep, beep," and my mom in the next room sawing logs. Just when I thought this was bad, it never occurred to me that at the age of 21 I would eventually have to get something called a "job". Weren't mom and dad supposed to take care of me forever? Soon, I would have to make sure I have money to put gas in my motorbike, make a motorbike registration payment, pay a cell phone pre-paid card, and have at least a hundred buck left over for the ninety-nine menu at Jolibee. All of these doesn't include the additional expenses of "stuff I want to buy" like CDs, clothes, and shoes at the mall. Someone also failed to mention that as I got older the prices would rise and an apartment could be as high as ten thousand pesos a month (Thank goodness I still live at home!).

Growing up leaves no time for fun. I remember being eleven years old and going to Playground parks or the movies every weekend. Sometimes my friends and I would even get bored because we had nothingto do. That isn't the case anymore. My weekends are now spent looking at the walls of my bedroom. My days of "cruising" on my hometown streets at the age of sixteen have also vanished. I'm lucky now just to drive down that road on my way home from college!

Children never really think about the future because it seems so far away. They figure that they will be young forever. I think there are a lot of us who never grow up. Sure we get older in appearance and become forgetful, but inside we are still little kids. Although I can't stop the aging process or drink from the fountain of youth, I will always hate growing up. It's one of the reasons why I've decided to do what I've always said I would. I plan to move to Never Never Land and live with Peter Pan.

Im just Glad

- because it's cloudy today wahehehe (for the past weeks it's been soo really hot and i'm soo not liking it) and i wouldn't have to ran over street vendors on my way to the gym later...
- coz i always feel like updating my blog now.
- coz Thailand is cheap. I mean don't get me wrong... cheap as in the food is cheap,clothes are cheap, taxi's cheap, train's much cheaper... see?? really cheap.
- coz Yassi was here last week
- coz Maya’s coming over any time this week… Looking forward for another night of cocktails.

That’s it. I’m just glad.

All by my self

Today I woke up feeling much better than the last couple of days when I was less sober about the idea of kinda “leaving” my comfort zone. Maybe it’s because I’m getting pretty comfortable to where I am now. Yesterday, after receiving a call from Yassi for a “happy hour” afternoon, I went downtown (Siam) Bangkok by my self for the first time…. But then again I had to call my sister almost every minute to ask for directions. First move was a 20-minute cab drive from where I’m staying to Mo Chit sky train station, a one-way ticket to Siam then was off to meet Yassi at the Paragon (which most Thai’s claim to be the biggest mall in asia. I couldn’t care less since it was obviously just a fraction of our very own Mall of Asia. Haha). I arrived an hour early from our deal so I went around to check what’s the “biggest mall in asia” had to offer for my super duper limited budget. There was none. I mean none… nothing that fits in my bucket list. Gucci? Versace? Jimmy Choo? DKNY? What the heck are those? High-end brands with high-end prices? Puhleeaasseee (char. Maskin wa juy kwarta). After exhausting my eyes on the values, I went straight to Starbucks for a raspberry frap and a bun, read a couple wrong grammar-flooded newspaper articles haha and Yassi arrived right after I finished poring over the articles. We talked a bit, gave updates of our going-ons, and ate at a thai restaurant.

Here’s what happened after:
- window shopping at the mall
- went out to look around the street market
- went to phat pong for a cocktail
- bid fairwell na to Yassi
- back to the train station (phat pong to siam, then siam to mo chit)
- subway from mo chit to Phaloyothin
- took a cab from phaloyothin station back to the house

it was exhausting but then again I enjoyed the experience commuting alone in Bangkok. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee….

Watch us!

the hardest part

The hardest of loving a friend is when you lose him/her and everyone in the circle starts asking about what happened.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm really sorry for being so selfish. but i really need to find my self first and see my self as a whole again. For the past months i've been so lost and unaided, i can't even recall a time where i paused a while to ask my self how life was treating me. It was all about you. everyday. it was so unhealthy and it got me to a point where I became frightened that i might totally lose my self.

I'm torturing my whole being with this move. I know i'm gonna have sleepless nights, eternal weeping, dreadful hours... etc... but i'm willing to face those life-threatening perils (if this is what it takes) not because i have to, but because i need to. again, I'm lost. and i don't wanna be like this forever. I need to embrace life again because for the past months that we've been together, i was clouded by my feelings - for what i've been doing was all for you and nothing for my self. 'twas like i didn't have respect for my self anymore. Now I think I badly need to stand up on my own, bring back the real Aiken, and learn to love and respect my self first before i can totally lay down on love again.

The thing here is I'm doing this now coz I know that if i'm gonna wait for tomorrow, next week, or next month, i would break down and a bigger problem might arise between the both of us.

I'm sorry. I really am. Because I'm being so selfish and you don't deserve this. but then again, i have to save and take care of my self now. I love you and I'm sorry. I know that it would be very difficult for you to forgive me... but i'm clinging on hope. coz HOPE is all that there is now. who knows, five or ten years from now, we'll gonna bump into each other, look back at this time, and be able to laugh about it.

I love u and I'm sorry.

"Ok ra na"

Last night, a friend asked me (through txt) to talk about LOVE. Though I’m also in an emotional turmoil, I couldn’t just let her fall into the blackhole of misery (where I’m about to plunge in to) so I was like “belch it all out”.

B – What is love?

Aiken – Love is the greatest feeling in the universe! (Just to lighten up her feeling)

B – Wala pa ka na inlove or na hurt sa?

Aiken – of course I have. It’s just that Love’s supposed to be like that. diba?

B – before yes. But now I’m having second thoughts.

Aiken – ok. So what’s wrong? tell me.

B – there’s this person that I really love. But he’s really really difficult to deal with. I mean he says that he loves me but his actions are just the total opposite. And for me, action speaks louder than words.

Aiken – so why are you holding on to that person kung dili man diay genuine iyang love?

B – it’s not that dili genuine iyang love. I think he has his own concept of loving.

Aiken – so if his concept of love is hurting you, will you still fight for what you feel? Butol lagi ka?

B – But what if I really love him this much? Isn’t love enough?

Aiken – Love will never be enough if you’re not happy anymore. If it’s hurting you, there’s no reason to stay even if you feel so much love for him. “love hurts” – I beg to disagree. I say, “Infatuation hurts” hahaha so don’t worry, maybe that’s not love after all.

B – what will I do?

Aiken – Leave!! You know that? the heart can sometimes be so deceitful. It’ll just give you false pleasure. But remember, the mind has control over everything. And remember that you have the power to tell your heart what to do.

B - grabe man gud ken. We’ve been together through thick and thin. Wahhhh wala nako kabalo ken. Ambot ambot. Feshteh man ni oi.

Aiken – through thick and thin? You know what I think? He’s confused. And you don’t deserve to be treated like a victim of an “animal testing” of some sorts. Maybe he’s inlove with you but at the same time, he can’t avoid hurting you. And that’s not fair. So leave! He needs medical attention.

B – yeah you’re ryt but It’s not that easy to leave ken. And I don’t know what to do… I cry all the time. karun I’m crying na.

Aiken – who the hell said it would be easy? I tell you, it would be super hard and sometimes you’ll gonna think about killing your self. And hey, dili pud easy ng you’re clinging sa walay klaro na relationship. Trust me. it would be better for u to leave him.

B – I’m trying. Everyday. But I just could not do it. everyday siya nalang pirmi.

Aiken – you know what u do? Pray. It works. Well,, sometimes. Joke hehehe

B – mamatay nako ken. Sigi ra ko pray but nothing’s happening.

Aiken – everything happens for a damn reason! Be optimistic. God will never give you more than what you can carry.

B – I sometimes question God about this ken. Why is he doing all these to me? I’ve been a good person and I don’t deserve this punishment. I can’t carry this anymore.

Aiken – if that’s the case, the all u hv to do is surrender it all down to him. I’m sure God has incredible plans for u. it may be this harsh but I’m pretty sure that It’l bring out sumthin positive in the end.

Aiken – and remember, though we naturally enjoy laughter more than tears, we would have to accept that most of the wisdom we’ve gained along the way, we owe them to the sad times.. so cheer up.

B – thank you very much ken. I’m pondering on your words.

Aiken – don’t worry _____. Everything will eventually fall into their right places. Soon. ok ra na.

home sick

I'm in Makati and I'm home sick.
wanted to go home before the year ends but airline tickets are exasperatingly expensive this season. so i would have to wait till january 2 before i could smell the fresh air of Dumaguete again.
I miss home.

updates in BISDAK

to the bbums, sowee haven't have had updates about my life.. hehehe... and i can't think of anything to write about as of this time. basta i'm happy. char. And o, i'm glad that i've talked to you guys over the phone... Thanks mich!!! (my first time to hear the drunk mich talk. hahaha) happy birthday to jayc. bbums,,,, i sooo damn miss u! dapat ma dayon ang bora kay if dili, na! mag wild jud ko. hehehe. verns, you're the greatest comentator! slamat. saja ra ang single life noh?? haha. i was soo happy to hear your voices over the phone... as-in.. nothing's changed jud. haha. ren-ren's still the same old ren-ren. and yot, work na! bantay kas imong mama! si jello ga emote pud (mara, si jello ba, mahilig sa casual sex) was about to do it a couple of weeks ago but mara said that if i tried it once, there's no stopping that i'm gonna do it repeatedly. hehehe. so wala nalang. jel, ikaw? hahahaha. mingaw pud kong aling angel, aling mara nanaman.... aling mara, thanks for your comment in one of my posts... and indai's wedding? congratulations to indai... but bbums, what u think?..... mwuah! love u guys!

updates... be spending xmas in manila.. on the 26th ill be off to baguio. then 28 back to manila... i still don't know when I'm gonna be back home. but i hope i could still catch jello around dumaguete when i get back... i miss our long conversations over bottles of beer. hehe. miss u jel!

mich! o! naka update nako! hehehehehe mwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuahhhh

Sacrifice

My new song... "Sacrifice"


Prologue:
I come home
I come home
Coz I have to let you fly
Let you fly baby… let you fly...

Chorus I:
Though there aint no life for me
When we go our separate ways
But there aint no life for me
If I will hold on to this phase
Baby…

So where would I go?
I ask my self.
When would my tears stop to flow?
Will it run dry?
Take my hands off from yours
Is what my mind’s tellin me so
Coz…

There aint no life for me
If I will hold on to this phase.
sacrifice.
Though there aint no life for me
When we go our separate ways
Baby…

Let me hold you for the last time
Hand by hand to feel “us” now
Embrace you for one last time, baby,
Heart to heart please feel me now
But…

There aint no life for me
If I will hold on to this phase.
Sacrifice
Though there aint no life for me
When we go our separate ways
Baby…

Bridge:
I know
It’ll take a while to see the beauty of letting go
And I know
I'll be counting teardrops but I won't show
Just let me cry
Coz…

There aint no life for me
If I will hold on to this phase.
Sacrifice
Though there aint no life for me
When we go our separate ways
Baby…

I would have to sacrifice...
and Let you fly.

With Cherry on Top

With Cherry on Top was the original name of my blog. it just so happened that i changed it to invonvenient reality for no reasons. but now it's back. and i'm liking it.

With Cherry on Top - taken from Mara's "draft beer with cherry on top"... at coco amigos. Somehow this new header makes me feel being with the bums everytime i see it. hehehe.

Kudos!!!

Lemme thank Verna Villanueva and Bea Torres for everything!!!! You guys surely know how to work things all out. I'm so grateful i have you both as friends. Kudos!! thanks! thanks! thanks! mwuah!

ga sirit

- Pathetic. 6 a.m. and I intentionally forced my self to stay awake up to this very hour.
- Arrived home at 4 after spending the entire night at the Buglasan
- Couldn't get the "Amityville murders" story out of my mind
- Haven't hit the gym for a couple of weeks now (I promise to be back on Saturday or as soon as my amino2222 arrives)
- My father just left for states, mother's goin to NY on Nov. 2
- Preparin to be home alone for six months
- Shit! where would i spend xmas?
- hmmmm... be buyin a pair of pants next week
- My cousin is.... disturbed? or dumb? desperate? depressed? for 22 years now?
- Plannin to wake up at 3 later
- Blog hoppin - mich's, verna's, sir ian's... the others seemed so bc to update
- Be back on oil painting again... next week.
- Cheapest meal i've had... ever - a 20-peso dinner last night with linwel and boen. Linwe's was Php 10. hahahaha
- What happened to "Iisa Pa Lamang"? can anyone tell me?
- Was starin at my painting for a sec...
- Decided not to go to law school.
- Work... umm.... next year? June? July? I don't know.
- My father brought this scary white mad puppy to our house a couple of days ago... really scary. wait, can dogs commit suicide? if they can't, i might as well have "whitey" murdered next week... I'm crossing my fingers... haha
- Or maybe not
- I have a bad eating habbit. do i? yeah i do. tsk
- Rabbit. had a couple before. the girl died after being sexually abused. the guy died a week later. girl and guy jud diba? hehe
- Hamster. had a couple before pud. They both had their taste of the spinning wheel and decided to escape.
- fish. Still have em now.
- My german sheppered died, then got another, died. got a black puddle named Mars...died. Punch, my mini pinscher died of distemper (how do u spell that?)... and now a white crazy puppy? Nice!
- I'm seing the sun rise again. wahhhhh
- I think I'm sleepy
- Good morning!

When we think life sucks...

I was blog hopping this afternoon and came across a friends’ blog post talking about how doomed she is to unhappiness… I couldn’t help but wonder - does everyone always feel and think this way?

There is no denying that every so often we are so busy asking ourselves how destined we are to misery. In such case, haven't we for a single moment tried waking up on the right side of the bed? Is the world a big load for us to carry that we oftentimes forget about reality and how naturally inconvenient it is? Are we too preoccupied convincing the world how we take ourselves too seriously to care about what we put on our backs and how exhausting it gets?

I’ve been asking my self about these thoughts every time I feel like the whole lot’s against my favor.

But there’s only one answer to that. The answer is - life. Coz if it wasn’t that way, we wouldn’t be living in a life after all. Life presents a bigger challenge for us to conquer, problems to cope, happiness to share with others and real friendships that help us to get through it all. It’s just the way it is.

Life is just too complex for us to dissect. The secret ingredient to life is to live. We all have good lives… The problem is that sometimes we just don’t have time to live it.

Remember that full joy happens at the end when we reach the level of gratification. We all should just live and be optimistic in everything that’s been happening to our existence. May it be good or undesirable, nothing lands down in wrong endings.

Why can't i be dumb?

why can't i be dumb??? True, there is no denying this inconvenient reality. Aided by a certainty that no matter how hard i try not to say anything about a certain issue, things still wont cease haunting and wobbling my head. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... How i envy those people who does nothing besides worying what clothes to wear on friday nights.

Torrid Kisses for Dire Moments = EVIL?

Nothing. That was just it - Torrid kisses for dire moments. It’s not an incongruity as so many are saying but an extension of what the young minds, including my self, have to discharge. Each step I took in life hasn’t been made up without the consent of my principles. I offered my soul in the struggle against the doubtful look of the people around me. Because of this, I used to have the tightest self ratification. To reject and refute my not-so-easily-made identity by dispatching obnoxious behavioral manner is synonymous to stepping on that effort. Or so I thought.

Just last night, I gave it all for a heck of the game. Four sets of lips, four slick tongues in one occasion, held together from Cratus’ and Aphrodite’s caches. But it must be understood. I’m in a world where no one can label anybody without constantly getting off beams. True, what happened that night is not so bodingly evil as so many claim.

My principles or self principles in general, aren’t bound by any behavior, time, occasion, place, and the like. I belch out all my inhibitions with no hesitations, do all things bad and good, but still remain essentially who I am. It’s not about our actions, nor isn’t about what people are saying about it. It’s about our personal growth, committing mistakes, learning, appreciating, or simply embracing the whole thing called life. Because this is, after all, a life.

Torrid kisses for dire moments = Evil? Neahhhh. Not true.

Between Love and Insanity

Does loving someone mean saying her/his name 50 times a day more than you say your own? Does it mean worrying about her/him and her/his knees before you and yours? Is it all about the other person? Is that love? - No it isn't! it's what i call insanity.

When two people love each other, but they just cant seem to be together, one should have the wise guts to realize on a certain point when enough is enough. Fairy tales no longer exist nowadays... gnome tales do though. - Does it make any sense? I bet it does.

Just this week two of my friends have been txting me lamenting about how love has been treating them lately.... apparently, i began to notice along the way that i could never be of help to anyone who isn't even willing to take in what i have to say. Most especially to people who are just head over hills over someone.

So i leave them with this thought (rephrased from Angel's brilliance), There is an acceptable time to endure pain for love and there is a point at which it's simply a waste of time.

"Nailin Palin"

I read her name on the papers... blogs...., see her face on TV almost everyday, hear people talkin bout her everywhere... But i just cant seem to get enough of Sarah Palin. wahahahahaahahaha!!!! this is no joke. I soo love her... not the i-want-her-to-win love.. but somewhat like she-makes-me-lough-all-the-time love. and you wouldn't believe what she said on TV - "I was annoyed by the questions of Couric..." OH YEAH?! SO AS 50% OF AMERICA! "...She could've asked about what a vice president stands for." hahahaha! don't u just love that?

Now have you guys heard about the porn movie "Nailin Palin"? It'll be released soon and I sure havta getta freakin copy... and i'll be over her after that.wahahahahahahaha

To the Brilliant Bums

Check Xander's blog ya'll!!! -
you can check mara's too coz she had xander's post reposted -

scroll

28-6-08
2:27 a.m.

The truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,
whereas letters are fixed,
and we live by the letter of truth.
The love I feel for a friend, this year,
is different from the love i felt last year.
If it were not so,
it would be a lie.
Yet we reiterate LOVE LOVE LOVE!
as if it were a coin with a fixed value
instead of a flower that dies,
and opens a different bud.


25-6-08
2:15 a.m.

Were you close?
Im asked,
as if grief would sting less deeply.
Were we friends as well as brothers?
Further apart,
two men could never meet...
though blood bends...
through arteries and veins,
summoned into presence by his pleasure.
On that i could have grown more SLOWLY -
remembering being held,
and cradled like treasure.

Slow dance...

Heaven? Where?

A wind blew over the meadow, bending a lone sapling almost to the ground. But it sprang back. It sprang back. It reached towards the hiding sun even though a branch had been torn off, leaves had flown away, and the wind would come again. The brown grass had sunk into the mud of previous rains. But alas, one more storm would come. One more cloud crept up upon the land. One more time the ashen sky would break and fall and drown out all that was left - except the hope, the love, the sun in her eyes, except for her will to forgive and rise above the gale.

Where is heaven? In a similar question, where is hell? From where does our desire to be at peace come from? However you feel at any particular moment is a product of your own making. We will all end up in the same place, but what that place will be to us is dependent on how we live our lives. God forgives, and if we too forgive and succumb to love, we will be in heaven. If we are guilt ridden, well, I suppose we shall do time in purgatory. And all of us with hate in our hearts will burn forever in the pits of our own damnation. While on this earth we are allowed to give these places a go. We are allowed a taste of all that is above, and, I suppose, below as well. We are given a chance to decide our fates. I won't tell you which to choose. It's up to you.

Of Sleeping at 6 #2

After months of being soo crabby about my body clock, I've finally found something that could actually....

ummm.. uhhmmm... this is like... to lighten up my days every time I wake up under the shadows of my window drapes... rushing to the CR and ransacking the pages of the dreamers dictionary has already been a daily ritual of some sorts to me.

Ohh yes.... I'm talking about dreams... and the nice thing about mine is, I could always remember every single detail, all it's elements, features, and facets... chaks! hahaha... I mean... for real.. not every one has this kind of power. some people don't even remember they've ever dreamed of certain something on a certain night... to think that we actually dream every single time we close our eyes and every single time our sense of hearing halts, it's just.... but.... making me proud of possessing such rare and exceptional power. haha.. and umm i think i got this power when I started sleeping at 6. hahahahaha

Anyways, I'm just quite glad that most of my dreams mean somethin possitive, sooo encouraging that they alwayyysss allwwaaayyyssss make my day. ahahahaha. Mao na ni run! na buang na.

So!!! so here are some of the things that i frequently dream about.. ummm.. with their respective meanings. What do my dreams really say??

1. Dogs - dogs in a dream are a good omen and symbolize friends. A dog in a dream signifies pleasure and happy times with friends.

2. Corpse - a dream of contrary in that it predicts a full happy life if the corpse was that of a stranger. If you dream involved a number of corpses but withought any particularly distressing aspect, it is a forecast of success where you least expect it.

3. Spiders - spiders in a dream are a sign of general good luck. to kill one signifies good news. if it was spinning it augurs approaching money. climbing a wall it's a harbinger of success in all that concerns you most deeply.

4. Bus - traveling by bus indicates progress toward your hearts desire. waiting for a bus signifies setbacks which will be temporary.

5. America - To dream of going to, or being in, or observing America on a map is an omen of great happiness through family unity. unless of course, you area an american or live in america, in which case the national aspects of the dream have no significance and only the other details should be considered.

6. dream within a dream - a dream within a dream portends a deferment of some hopes but nevertheless a definite improvement in your present circumstances.

Seee!!!??? See!!??? It's like what Patricia Evangelista said, "...seing snow outside my window and freckles across my nose." hahahaha

Now I think i'm becoming more eager to sleep early and dream dreams... more dreams. :) Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 :)

Of sleeping at 6

Bumming around may seem like a good thing to do while "crossing over" from graduation.... (purag patay hehehe) untill that time comes when your bedtime falls at 6 in the morning and no matter how hard you try to sleep earlier than that, it just doesn't work at all.

I've tried everything except anxiety pills (which was my first option of remedy, "loser's pill" my sister called it - hmmm.. whatever.. i haven't taken one.. so as to avoid being called a loser. hahaha... pathetic.) - pitchers of milk, tequilla shots, rhum shots, whiskey shots, and the banging of the head on to a wall.... they all gave me a single thing - headache.

So what's the solution?

my sister said that it's all psychological (which I agree) coz I'm not used of doing nothing. I'm pretty much active and had so much to do, had so much responsibilities, so little time in a day, and now i'm faced with an empty schedule, and a whole lotta DAY!!!! I have nothing to sleep early for, nothing to wake up early for... absolutely nothing!

"Get a job", my friends keep tellin me. and for the nth time, yes. I'm looking for a job in the world of arts... uhuh... the arts only. and that's why it's kinda hard landing into one.. and the race of artists to that dream job is pretty much... hard.

So what am I doing?

Nothing... really. "When will u stand up and start your life?" again, my sister asked. and the answer... to be honest, I don't exactly know. I mean i'm applying for companies and doing all those crap.. but then again, not one in my interest at all.

So what do I really want to do?

A lot! But i just don't have the avenue to do them at this point in time.

So?

Soooo... I'll be bummin around till I get a chance to do what I want to do. But now i think I'm doomed to sleep at 6 am everyday.

Blab #12?

How many people wonder about holes in the ceiling and cracks on the floor? When did they happen? What caused them? Or what about when you see a cigarette in the toilet and wonder who had the guts to smoke in the bathroom that day and why they chose that brand of cigarette, or why they even smoke at all (why do I too?). And even if people do think about these things, why? For what purpose? I guess I do it out of boredom. But is boredom really an excuse? I mean, really, how bored can a person get? I don't guess it is boredom after all, probably curiosity, which can build to all sorts of lengths, and I believe it most certainly starts there. How else can you explain why I want to know what happened to a certain somebody when a certain somebody else, punches them in the eye? I am almost positive that it stems from curiosity and, that is where and how I try to make sense of this story.

Or am I? hmmmm... kapoy...

So maybe my story would've been pointless after all and maybe you wouldn't have understood my say about curiosity - the cause of all things and why it kills all - friendships, personalities, even life...

Blab #11?

My brain’s really not workin right now… wait,, did it ever? Hmmm.. hahay… I really wanted to write something far from the ordinary, humdrum things like that of how god kicked lucifer’s ass out from the heavens or something about why I always dream of flying and be out from this doomed inconvenient reality… but I just… couldn’t.

So much about nonsense, Nonito (the most ridiculed brilliant bum… perhaps the only person in the world who hasn’t discovered the power of whitening soaps or the infamous glutathion yet) is getting his ass in town on Friday… And talk about friends, in as much as I wouldn’t wanna see him, I simply don’t have a choice but to go see and mock him again (JOKE!!!!!!!!!). Bitaw love baya jud ni nako si nitz…. And guess what he’s up to in Dgte??? – repertory philippine’s Tuesdays with Mori. Well at least I have company. Heheheh… baboy ra japun…

That’s all. Bow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And oh! I just saw a picture of Christina carrying her daughter… with the baby’s head an inch close from a dog’s mouth! Soooo ridiculous and sooooooooo irresponsible… that’s why I don’t have babies!!!!!!!!!!!!…. (hehehehe)

Don-Bosco High batch 2003 (inuman)

When The Brilliant Bums Meet, you'll get these - 101 PHOTOS

Let's sart from here... Formal gamay... kay naa si mam Rose....

bang! the place where everything happens
... never ending conversations...
Hayahay.. the place that brought us back to "other side"

When sobriety comes in... (OK pa)
The Feats Ed (sakto ba?), The EIC, and The EIC, and the writer. hahahaha
la lang...
BBums!!! Yipee
shot 1
shot 2
shot 3
for mara! ahahaha

we're supposed to pa emote the pump boat.
shot 4
shot 5
shot 6
The tequilla guru
hahahahahahaha
si indai lost 200 lbs
no comment
sukarap moments ni angel (siya ray na sukarap that night)... the MC. hahah
char.

love and friendship

Two men lived, and two men died,
And each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
And throughout their ventures, they often stopped to cry,
For one closed his eyes and the other was blind.

The blind man was full of hope and cheer,
But that wouldn't last long, didn't you hear?
The blind man took a risk and leaped through a door,
And now we find that his heart's been broken,
It shattered on the floor.

Like all blind men he was in the dark,
And he found that love isn't just a walk in the park.
He fell head over heels,
And he dared to feel,
But like many of the blind he tripped and fell,
And his unrequited love has put him in a spell.

The blind men's depressed now,
So was it worth the risk?
You decide if your heartbreak's worth just a kiss.

Two men lived, and two men died,
And each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
And throughout their ventures, they often stopped to cry,
For one closed his eyes and the other was blind.

The man who closed his eyes was often called stupid,
But he was the smartest of all, and here, I'll prove it:
The man always had a friend which he could turn to,
A person who would never say "I think that we're through."
As a kid he learned that its best to close your eyes,
and that you'll still have pain but your heart will never be slain.

He fell head over heels,
But someone helped him back up,
And then that someone fell,
And he helped him out of hell.

This man's depressed now,
But what do we know?
That he has someone to help him, when he is feeling low.

Two men lived, and two men died,
And each saw the world through a different pair of eyes,
So remember this when you're gonna shout a lonely cry:
Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes.

Check out my new song

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY FAREWELL

Was it all ever a game?
Shouldn’t it be the same?
Foolishly I’ve tricked my self to
Those scattered words I’ve said
To sought for this feeling, I never mean
To say farewell to you my friend

chorus:

Coz I’ve always wanted your embrace
Laying in those sweet words you said
Dim-wittedly I’ve idealized
That finally someone has come
For the first time
My heart opens wide
To let someone dwell inside

I was wrapped by your pretense
Wish I’d cling in my masquerade
Yet it was never really hard
To open up my heart
For you my friend
And face the heartbreak over and over again

chorus:

Coz I’ve always wanted your embrace
Laying in those sweet words you said
Dim-wittedly I’ve idealized
That finally someone has come
For the first time
My heart opens wide
To let someone dwell inside

bridge:

Suddenly the wind purred
My heart bleeds to despondency again
I knew what I had to do.
But I never mean to say farewell to you my friend

(repeat chorus)

To sought for this feeling, I never mean
To say farewell to you my friend….

Spot the closet gay on the blogosphere

a straight guy never blogs about his gf all the time. (he'd rather keep it to himself)

a closet gay however (who's trying his best to fool everyone) talks about girls on blog like there's nothing else worth writing about basides their "gurrrlllffrriiieeennddsss" (kawawang babae) - pathetically posting intimate txt conversations in one occasion… and on the next, goes on discussing what he feels about his gf… the following week you get to notice a post about a girl again, probably about an X, then it just goes on and on… FOREVER! Just to deceive people by such “manly” façade.

Ok so here’s what I’m trying to say… that kind of style crafts them to be more apparent to their homosexuality. Coz straight men never do that.

-------have you spotted one yet? (ako daghan na) hahaha

________________for the mayang bungol__________________

Here’s a tip: if you’re really, draassstttiiccaallyy serious about hiding your colorful being, be wise !!! So people like me and the rest of the Brilliant bums wouldn’t notice at all. But no matter how hard you try, we always see the beauty in people like you. haha…. so forget it. wahihihihihihihihihihi

a repost. la lang...

Sometimes talking all night with a stranger who doesn’t know who we truly are is somewhat an unruffled relief, a getaway from our walled reality. An outsider, an alien of some sort who freely pays attention to whatever lamentations we have to discharge… their world is remotely off from ours making ourselves to liberally belch our innermost entity’s howling and grief. We need people like these, people who know the least about us, people who we discern can give the purest untainted opinion to our anguish. They are what they are; strangers, unfamiliar people, aliens. Yet they are the most definite people who can perfectly listen to us, people who don’t take sides, prejudice, and biases.

Strangers are canvases for me. Knowing their nature isn’t so much of significance. I craft personas in them… a delusion of some sort that drives out my ingenuity. Every so often I let them exist who they logically are. A swift aid for my load, I call it.

It has never been taxing talking with them… In their midst, I can be so valid, so unfastened, so free. They are there at all time to listen, to give an unadulterated remark, to dispute, to console. And at the end of the day, they remain strangers to me and so am I to them.

Downfall!

Whoever thought of making the luce chairs in different colors is @#$#@#^%!!!!! I haven’t in my entire life seen a theater with a barrage of colored seats. It’s just so baduy.
Now the luce isn’t that regal anymore.. tsk tsk. Sayang.

Look at these before and after photos... maka lagot jud!



.

WALAY MAG BUOT!

LA RA... NAHAN RA NAKO I POST. HEHEHE PICTURE PICTURE!!!! WA'Y MAG BUOT KAY AKO NING BLOG! HEHEHEHEHEHEH

I chose to be who I am

Remember as a child people would tell you, "You are what you eat." When you are fed fat, you will become fat. When fed violence, you become violent. A diet of anger will make you hate. Hunger will make you hungrier, or so it would seem. I think it is ironic that we teach children at a young age to judge people by means other than the content of their character. Then, we expect children to be honest and loving after being labeled by how others view them. After all, how many people, besides your closest friends and family, can walk into your room and point to items that give a reflection of who you really are? The thought of being that shallow and simple is unthinkable for most of the human species. Instead of being labeled by the world as it sees me, I plan to introduce myself to the world for who I really am.

My room reflects my being...

Absent from my room are pictures and material keepsakes from vacations or other special times. Some people cluster their rooms and offices with pictures of their friends climbing the Cuernos de Negros. I do not have jars of sand from Boracay displayed on a shelf next to an array of photographs for the entire world to see. I am content to keep these memories to myself. I do not wish to expose them to anyone who might be walking past an open door. I feel my memories are intruded upon when left nakedly in the open. I pass my memories on to whom I please when I am comfortable. My simplicity of decorating is a sign of my lack of trust for those I do not know and my reclusive personality. If I were more open, I too would display pictures and keepsakes proudly. Unfortunately, I learned not to trust as a child unlike most people whose childhood is a medium for trust.

I am not a product of what I have "eaten". I would be a scared, miserable person if this were the case. Instead, I have become independent and content. The bitter tone is the residue of a harsh reality imposed on an innocent child. Although soured from some of my experiences, I find solace in stripping myself of labels and actively choosing who I become. Remember, you are who you choose to be not what you "eat" or what other people label you.

Gender equality eh?

Last night I was watching Christina Aguilera on youtube singing all her for-gender-equality songs…

And I couldn’t help but wonder… do women really wanted to be treated equally with men?

Don’t women care anymore about men offering their seats for a young lady standing on a bus and the stuff men do for them because their women? Or no mater how they fight for it, can women get the equality they've ever wanted? can they be totally equal with men? Talk about both gender; femininity and masculinity, though men and women may be alike in terms of brainpower, both sexes have totally different capacity. And talk about the already died out “double standard” of society, what more are they fighting for?

In this modern world where people seem to be so busy to care about anyone, I still wanna see men opening car doors for women, men on the “danger side” when crossing the street, men pulling chairs for the opposite sex to sit on in a restaurant, men moving aside as women climb first in a tricycle or a taxi, men getting the cocktail drink at the bar for their dates, and men making extra effort to stand up and offer their comfortable bus seats to women.

From 70 to 63

My diet has gotten into the nth level so I decided to mellow it down a bit for a couple of weeks. It all started last March when I went hitting the gym again. At first I wasn’t really on a strict diet promising my self to burn all the calories I’ve eaten on a certain day by lifting the heviest weights. By the time I ended my one month program, my stomach was still in its usual puff up. So the binge diet began trying everything I could to have that 6 packs on my tummy. April was one cup of rice per meal. May, tried about 2/3 cup of rice a meal (I usually put a cup of rice on my plate but never in a single meal I’ve tried to consume everything. ). June, half cup (seriously). July, I called rice “the devil” so I scrapped it all out from my plate (when I felt like eating carbs, I usually toast a couple of sandwich bread, put a lil non-fat mayo, and two slices of spam slightly fried in extra virgin olive oil, then called it a meal. I often pared it with non-fat yogurt so I would actually feel full even if I wasn’t. So I got the packs I wanted for my abs.

But Just last week, I’ve noticed some other changes on my body. May cheeks shrank, my buttocks shrank, my arms shrank, and bones were popping out my chest. Shiet! And people began noticing about the changes. samot!

Di pud dagay ko anorexic na? (Like that one time during supper, I was so guilty of eating half of what was on my plate, that I literally spit out my supposedly last hungit.) nan.

Waaahhhhh!!!!!!

And when I tried weighing my self again, I was 63 kg. from 70 kg. (SCARRYY)
So last Friday I decided to eat as much as I could, stuffing my body again and be back to my normal weight.

So far so good. I’m eating rice again! Yipeeeeeeeeeee!!!! And cakes too!

The Right Time

In our lives, we just can’t learn to let go of what we’ve primarily started – a relationship, a group of friends, or even an organization which in one way or the other made a huge impact in our lives… especially when the present time demands so much of us and it’s shredding our beings apart waiting for the “right time” to detach.

There came a point in “Kahayag” that I felt so guilty about. That was when I detached my self from the group so early and left the group with people who know nothing besides their own prestige (except for some). I called them the “bad guys”. It was the right move I thought… so there will no longer be a clash between god and lucifer. But in the long run, I was starting to realize that it wasn’t.

When some of us left the group to the “bad guys” for some reasons, “Kahayag” became a battlefield of pride. Instead of being intrinsic, camaraderie became some what a contractual obligation for the members to take responsibility of. (gee… I wasn’t aware how the “bad guys” have actually gotten to be so powerful. I mean taking away the entire dancer’s urge to do their thing pleasantly.) Hmmmmm….

“Dili na ni maayo.”

I knew what I had to do – go back. One good occurrence on that instant was then the moment of downfall of the “bad guys”. With the help of my protégés, we revived the thing we called the “true Kahayag spirit”.

It was really sad for me (in fairness) thinking how the “bad guys” actually turn into really “bad guys”. Talk about Voldemort’s journey from Hogwarts’ Slytherin to madness. Though how bad they’ve gotten to be, I still learned something out from there unfavorably innate nastiness – PERSON + PRIDE + MORE PRIDE = DOWNFALL.

Detached? And so I thought.

But at least the “right time” is speeding up with in succeeding weeks (not to mention the nearly 20 kicking newbies and the third most successful concert in the history of Kahayag last Saturday). And I’ll make it a point that Kahayag will be back on its feet and back on track before I take advantage of the “right time”.

Of being a dancer

...

“Manjuyod?” (eyes rolled)

-the reaction of my father when I told him I have to dance for the Kahayag’s Manjuyod concert. Though he didn’t anymore elaborate what he just did ( I wouldn’t even want to listen if he wanted to), still action speaks louder than words…. I was flabbergasted.

As a performing artist for quite some time now, dancing to me has gotten into a different level… but first, I want to get this straight - Dancing is not about prestige… nor isn’t it about pleasing the thousands of people watching. Dancing is beyond all these crap…. I dance for cultural preservation. I dance because millions of young Filipino’s scattered all over the Philippines don’t even know where the kalinggas, bontoc, manobos, Bilaan, and the Bagobos come from or why they even wear barongs on special occasions… I dance to educate these young Filipinos to appreciate and learn about our culture, and to restore their depleted outlook towards our ethnicity, customs, and traditions…. and this is one of the million ways for me to give back for what the Filipino heroes have fought for my future.

May it be in grand halls of the Cultural Center of the Philippines, or in slums, I will continue what I’m doing with all my heart and with my purpose till my last breath.

Is it “JUST” Manjuyod? I don’t think so.

new header

i would like to express my deepest thanks to Jose Jello Cubelo for making my header....

grrrrrr...

why can't i think of somethin to write about????

my masterpiece

my work on Golda's leg...

Wow

Amazing Sanghiyas Alumni (Philippine High School for the Arts) dancers. "Binasuan"

Gee

Let’s be honest. Sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else… like lottery winners, or extremely successful people who are twenty seven… and then there’s that hell on earth that only your closest friends can inflict on you – The wedding.

SSCAARRRYYY!!!

This is scary… I went home at about ten last night. As I opened the gate and noticed that the porch light was on and since I haven’t gotten the time to actually say hi to my pets, I sat on a chair and watched the single visible fish swimming in my aquarium (since the others were sleeping… and yes fishes do sleep and they usually hide when they do. hehehe...). Anywayszz... After a while, I searched for my keys, opened the door, and went my way inside the house… when I was about to turn the terrace light off, I was shaken to notice that the switch was already turned off. And when I looked outside, it was totally dark… I couldn’t even see the aquarium.

It's the second time this thing happened. shiet.

once again, a thought.

I thought about choices…

Since birth we’ve been told we can do and be anything we want- be an astronaut, the head of a huge company, etc… etc…. There aren’t any rules anymore and the choices are endless… and apparently, they can all be delivered right to your door. But is it possible that we’ve gotten so spoiled by choices that we’ve become unable to make one… that a part of us knows that once we choose something, one partner, one great house, one amazing job, another option goes away? Are we a generation of people who can’t choose just one from column “a”? Did we have too much to handle, or was my friend right? – can we have it all?

Just a thought again

Last night I got to think about the “ex factor”. In mathematics, we learned that x stands for the unknown, a plus b equals x. but what’s really unknown is, what plus what equals friendship with an ex? Is this an unsolvable equation? Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love into something that fits nice and easy on to the friendship shelf?

I couldn’t help but wonder, can you be friends with an ex?

And later that night, I have solved the unsolvable friendship equation. It seemed that the answer is this - White Russian plus black Russian equals friendship with an ex.

Just a thought

I couldn’t get my friend’s words out of my head - “relationships are for us to play to make it work.”

Geeeee… that’s scary…

We spent our childhoods playing games. Were they all just primers for the games we play as adults? Is a relationship a big chess match about strategies, moves, counter moves, all designed to keep your opponent off balance for you to win? Was there such a thing as honest relationship? Or was it true, do we have to play games to make a relationship work?

Just a shock

One of the great things about living in Dumaguete is that you don’t have to sugarcoat your feelings. But have we settled for a sugar-free existence as well? We accept tasty delights instead of real ice cream, emails instead of love songs, jokes instead of poetry. It’s no wonder that when faced with the real thing, we can’t stomach it. Is it something we could learn to digest? Or have we become romance intolerant?

Watch Your Step

(april 18, 2008)

When you live on a tiny city like Dumaguete, the odds of bumping into the one who broke your heart are incredibly high. The odds of bumping into him/her when you look like shit, are even higher. After a break-up, certain streets, locations, even times of day, are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.

As the cheap rhum buzz wore off me, I began to worry about the ramifications of my day. Was my friend right? Were we supposed to get over an ex in a slow, painful way? Or should we just ignore all the bad feelings and throw ourselves back in the game? In a world where bleeding each other seems to be more and more frequent, what are the break-up rules? – “Whatever you do man, don’t cry. Coz if you do get back together again, you’re the guy that cried.” “Don’t see her/him till three months have passed until you lose weight you put on when breaking up,” “Give her/him whatever she/he wants. But don’t sign a motha fuckin thing,” “Change your name, your phone number, and your job. They’re all bums.”

A rule that works: Lie. And don’t let that drastic emotional feeling get into you like a splinter. And if you’re doing it good enough, there… in the shadow of your island, in just four weeks out of your last relationship, you’ll see a new one grabbing your hand in the middle of the crowded dance floor. Trust me, you’ll forget about all the lies.

Break-up rule number three: Never stop thinking about her/him even for a moment because that’s the moment she’ll/he’ll appear.

And finally, the most important break-up rule: No matter who broke your heart, and how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.

...

This world was never meant for one as beautiful as me..
(wahahahaha feeler)

...

I stood out in the open cold to see the essence of an eclipse which was in its perfect darkness.
I stood out in the cold porch and could not think of anything so perfect as man's hope of light in the face of darkness.

An Artist's Room

It is the quintessence of monotony: a mountain chain of stucco that lies atop fallow lots the size of kitchen magnets. Welcome to suburbia. He effortlessly enters his pervious pastel palace, but the voyage to this room is an uphill battle; it is quite an insurmountable quest. The trek to his cell consists of a frozen spiral staircase. It is not smooth and slippery, though, but rocky and perilous. The portal lies beyond the staircase…

He force his way through the abrasive force field of forbiddance. Themshrieks of his tearing flesh are subdued by the overpowering silence of the room. Words are mouthed, but not spoken. They do not exist. This cubicle of torment does not allow language, the embodiment of opposition. As he step into his room, he notice all colors of the spectrum for a fraction of a second, then they appear red. Countless pictures adorn the walls; they are all of one person. He know her, but who is she? Her eyes are dark and enigmatic. He can see the sadness in her eyes. Her eyes. They lack the luminescence of the youthful character they portray. Her glances pierce through his being like light through glass. The carpet is a sea of scorn. It stabs his feet with its blades of contempt. The walls of mockery laugh at him as he foolishly try to climb them to rid himself of its presence. Yet there is no escape. He has inflicted more pain upon himself. Nothing is soft in here; everything is jagged. His un-sanded wooden dresser rests on the right side of the doorway. Figures of dancers with invisible partners lie atop the uneven surface. They seem to move slowly across the dresser, like seaweed drifting aimlessly across the sea. His unpleasant and discomforting bed of stone rests in the center of the room. It is not the usual shape of a bed. Rather, it seems as if it were molded to fit his body alone.

Is there no solace? The closet stands only two feet away from the front of the bed. Inside is a world of death and destruction. His clothes are victims of either neglect or overuse. His shoes, an array of black, sit near the foot of the closet. They too are innocent victims of negligence or abuse. They are casualties of an reckless spirit. The stench of decay creeps from his nose into his mouth. He licks his lips in disgust of this new taste. As he look about the room, he notice the mirror above the dresser. It is warped and misleading. Gazing into the mirror, he sees more than just his body. He sees a being crying out because of the immense and delayed agony of distortion. He can not be heard.

A deluge of darkness overtakes his bedroom. His eyes are suddenly fixed on a beam of light. The radio that rests to the left of his dresser has a light that indicates power. It beckons him, but he restrained by the dark angels in his bedroom. They always appear when he longs for anything. They are with him, in his room, for eternity.

Young No More

It all begins with the famous phrase, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" As children, we think the words "growing up" mean becoming like mom and dad. It means having a job, being able to cook dinner, and knowing how to pay bills. We are too young to understand the real concept behind those two dreadful words. If only someone had told me the truth, I could have prepared for the shock. I hate growing up, and getting older really stinks.

The phases of growing up are like a date gone wrong. They start off real nice and eventually smack you in the face. I remember back in kindergarten when there used to be nap time. Oh how I took it for granted! I'm not even sure if I know what the word "sleep" means now. And if school couldn't get more difficult over the years, someone came along and decided we needed to learn languages other than English. As if my English wasn't bad enough, now I have to learn how to speak in gibberish.
Growing up causes the "unthinkable" to happen. When I was little, I really should have taken advantage of pure skin, no wrinkles, and the phrase "eat your vegetables." Now, I have to use Clearasil, undereye cream, and drink Fit n’ Right! What could possibly be good about becoming old, fat, ugly, and bald? I used to have energy, but now I have to drink caffeine to wake myself up. It used to be that when I went to get my hair cut, my stylist would say, "Look how shiny and thick your hair is." Now I hear, "Okay, what should we try today to give your hair some volume?" Not to mention that the women have the privilege of losing their figures, becoming less attractive, and receiving lumps of cellulite in their backside. That's when they must say, "Goodbye bikinis!"


Growing up brings more responsibilities. It used to be that my mom would come in my room every morning and say, "Time to get up!" Now I wake up to the annoying sound of my alarm clock going "beep, beep," and my mom in the next room sawing logs. Just when I thought this was bad, it never occurred to me that at the age of 21 I would eventually have to get something called a "job". Weren't mom and dad supposed to take care of me forever? Today, I have to make sure I have money to put gas in my motorbike, make a motorbike registration payment, pay a cell phone pre-paid card, and have at least a hundred buck left over for the ninety-nine menu at Jolibee. All of these doesn't include the additional expenses of "stuff I want to buy" like CDs, clothes, and shoes at the mall. Someone also failed to mention that as I got older the prices would rise and an apartment could be as high as ten thousand pesos a month (Thank goodness I still live at home!).

Growing up leaves no time for fun. I remember being eleven years old and going to Playground parksor the movies every weekend. Sometimes my friends and I would even get bored because we had nothingto do. That isn't the case anymore. My weekends are now spent looking at the walls of my bedroom, along with the stack of books I have to read and memorize by Monday morning. My days of "cruising" on my hometown streets at the age of sixteen have also vanished. I'm lucky now just to drive down that road on my way home from college!

Children never really think about the future because it seems so far away. They figure that they will be young forever. I think there are a lot of us who never grow up. Sure we get older in appearance and become forgetful, but inside we are still little kids. Although I can't stop the aging process or drink from the fountain of youth, I will always hate growing up. It's one of the reasons why I've decided to do what I've always said I would. I plan to move to Never Never Land and live with Peter Pan.

"Ang Kabo? Asa ang Kabo?"

I’ve changed. A LOT. and I never would’ve noticed that if I chose not to click that blog and forced my self to sleep at 4 a.m. If it wasn’t for the “brilliant bums” (the most perfect dysfunctional tropa I’ve had in my college life) friendster blog where the only post was that of Mara’s, I wouldn’t have had this greatest epiphany at this point of my life. Hehe. Anywayz,,, sa blog, nangumusta lang si Mara sa iyang mga friends during those times when she was all the way in Manila spending ummm…. quite a time working in People Support. She wrote somthin for me like,,, “ang KABO! Asa ang Kabo?”

“Asa ang KABO?” – it hit me. char. Hehehe. But yeah. It did. It made me realize that through the toughest times I’ve been through for the past months, I’ve actually forgotten who I was. You may find it confusing but yeah… that quote was one of the few crazy txt nonsense I’ve habitually sent to my friends way back then… Simple as that, It made me scrutinize my thoughts of who I used to be. geee… I miss the old crazy Aiken. I must admit that I was overpowered by all those heartaches, pressures, and other heart imposing pains which led me to the point where I was unconsciously altering my character … but now I think I’ve completely recovered from all those fuckin pieces of destruction. What is left in me now is the urge to bring back the real me and to find a short way of putting my self up tight and bring my self back to my feet.

Thank you Mar for making me realize everything.

hoooooowwwooooo

"...she was a smart girl... but she fell in love."

-Sex and the City

Blab #10

I just realized that this world is in reality, doomed to be chaotic. There is angst and trouble in the stuff that we do, people who we befriend with, or even to a place that we go to… and whether we like it or otherwise, life is meant to be this way…

All we have to do is to understand, compromise, and submit to this reality. We are our own masters and we can liberally choose whether to compromise or melt our selves with the swarm of turmoil. The greatest chaos happens to us if we hinder our selves from understanding. If we try hard enough to understand, we could actually live the life that we dreamed of.

Blab #9 - Philippine's Big Fat Liars

First – Ces Drilon was Abducted/kidnapped by Abu Sayaf

Second – Drilon was salvaged from the kidnappers

Third – Drilon and ABS-CBN exaggeratedly expressed thanks to Loren Legarda saying that Legarda was responsible for the rescuing negotiations.

Fourth – Legarda said that there was no ransom paid… that her negotiations were of purely verbal agreements.

Fifth – On June 20, a 5 million ransom was exposed to the public by the media.

With all scandals that are surfacing from this Drilon drama, I’ll straightaway proceed to the 6th since those scandals aren’t so much of my interest.

Sixth- Ces is a BIG FAT LIAR, Legarda is a BIG FAT LIAR, and ABS-CBN is a BIG FAT LIAR.

This political gimmick maid by ABS-CBN, Drilon, and Legarda is not just an indication of public manipulation but a blunt sign of how these people see Filipinos as fools.

What Kind of Heart Do I Have?

Took the "heart exam" on facebook... and i was really shocked how accurate the results were. sooo ttrruuueee... sooooo cccrrreeeepppyyyyy....
dandandandan.. meet my angel's heart.

Angel's Heart

You fall in love quickly and easily.You give so much in a relationship, and you don't expect much in return. You love always seeing your lover and you just love them as they are.You have a huge desire to whomever you love and you stay in love forever.

Afraid of Success?

Are you afraid of succeeding? Sounds ridiculous, right? But, your fear may be in your way... and you aren't even aware!

Quick . . . Give me an answer! Are you?

Most people say, “NO… absolutely not. I’m doing everything I can… making all the right moves to get what I want.”

Ok then, the real question is… Do you feel successful?
You know what a lot of people say when I ask them that question? “Well… what do you mean by successful?”

We all crave it . . . we all strive to achieve it . . . but what is it?
The definition of successful: resulting or terminating in favorable or desired outcome.
Right.

Now, you have to determine what that means to you. What does it take to make you feel successful and are you really reaching out in the right direction?

So, let’s get real about what you mean by successful. Do you really want it? Steven Berglas, a Harvard psychiatry professor, wrote a book called “The Success Syndrome: Hitting Bottom When You Reach the Top”. He says that “what you call success may have consequences that you don’t want.”

Are you sure about what the outcome will be if you get what you’re aiming for? Often times we have an idea of what success would be for us… what would make us feel successful. We see or hear from others what appears to be success. But, they’re just ideas and not rooted in reality. After all, what’s good and successful for someone else, may not be good for you. And may in fact, be toxic in your life.

Tara Cabaero is a highly educated theater artist of the Tanghalang Pilipino. She’s also a very skilled painter. She said she felt depressed, stagnant and “unsuccessful”. She felt that no matter “how hard she tried” she could not achieve the success she wanted as an artist. After a lot of talking and dissecting the realities of her situation, we came to some big realizations.- She was not feeling “successful” as an actress because she had not yet been made a main cast. But, in reality there were several things she had not done that were necessary steps to make sure she would be what she wanted to be. Why?- Because if she was made a main cast, she would not have the time to put into her artwork. Ah… so, maybe she didn’t really want to be a main cast?- But, she didn’t feel like a successful artist either. Why?- Because she had not had his own show.... Ok… hang with me here….- Why hadn’t she had his own show? I knew she had enough great work to put together a show. Her answer?- “Oh no… my work is no where near good enough. I haven’t had enough time to put into it to be good enough”.

So, in reality, she had set up her own limiting beliefs about herself and her achievements.
When she finally declared that it was OK that she didn’t want to be a main cast in one theater show… that she didn’t want to put more time into the company in exchange for money; it freed her to feel successful at her present level in the theater company which she’s in to.

Now, we needed to work on reevaluating what success as an artist means to her. Did she really want a show? Or was it enough that she just painted for herself? By writing a mission statement, she got back in touch with why she was an artist in the first place. She got in touch with the fact that her fear of success was sabotaging her intention to express herself. She was actually afraid that her work was so good, that it would hurt some of her other artist friends if she had a show. So, she was making all kinds of excuses not to do it.

Does any of this sound familiar? Are you striving to achieve something that deep down you're not sure you’ll like or even be able to handle? Or perhaps you’re limiting yourself because you just don’t really want to confront the ideas you’ve had about your own success.

A Psychology graduate from Silliman University (Secret ra daw ang name) authored these statements for one to answer and see if any is true.

Sometimes I don’t try as hard as I can because I don’t want to threaten anyone.

I get anxious if anyone regards me as the best in my field.

I often don’t do things to the best of my ability.

I am often more comfortable failing than succeeding.

I often let others win if it makes them more comfortable.

I’m not comfortable with others expecting too much from me.

If I’m too good at something, I worry about judgment from others.

“Your candid answers to these questions can often reveal where and how you are getting in your own way. Be aware of these limiting beliefs. Be aware if you are giving away your power and then stressing that you aren’t achieving what you want. If you have these obstacles, it doesn’t really matter how much time and energy you put in… you won't feel successful,” She said.

It’s time to bust your own myths. Come out of your comfort zone and take a good look around.
Are you sure you want that promotion? Do you want to work longer hours, see less of your family, be the president in charge of the company? Are you sure that when you achieve the success idea that you have for yourself … that it will make you happy?

It’s ok and in fact vital, for you to reevaluate these ideas of success and adjust them to suit your realities. Be clear that your goals motivate you; not terrify you or shut you down. Work hard on your intention and focus on what you really want and why you’re here. And don’t let yourself be afraid of being everything that you are!

Because the fact is you are successful! You live a successful life everyday. Accept your success… embrace it … don’t let your unfounded fears unconsciously strip you of your goals and achievements.

Declare your successes for yourself everyday . . . and be clear that you will hit the top , when you reach the “top”.

Best Deal for Airline Tickets

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Airline tickets can be pricey at times but there are ways to get great deals on this type of transportation. The following will list some ways to get the best deal on airline tickets and leave a little bit of extra cash in your pocket for spending money while on vacation or business.

Airline tickets are items which are increasing in price these days. Perhaps it is due to the fuel increase which is currently being seen throughout the world or other associated reasons. Whatever the reasons, finding a good price on an airline ticket is difficult for many individuals, especially if you happen to be flying to or from remote locations throughout the world. The good news is that there are ways to still find great deals on transportation tickets of this kind and be well on your way to a great vacation or prosperous business trip without traveling broke.

One of the best ways to find a good deal on tickets for airlines is to review the selections and purchase these items online. You can go to the individual airline websites, use travel websites or buy them from others who may be selling their transferable airline ticket. If you are hoping to go on vacation and don't have a set destination in mind, simply peruse your airline destination options and buy those tickets which are least expensive. The Internet provides wonderful avenues for not only searching for desired airline tickets but purchasing them at discounted prices as well.

Another way to get a great deal on an airline ticket is to take advantage of sale fares offered by the airlines themselves. Many airlines will advertise special destination prices for specific time periods. These specials can reap wonderful prices on tickets for your air travel. You may find it advantageous to sign up for web deals via email through one or more airline carrier as this will allow you to get information on special deals delivered directly to your email address. If you want to go on vacation but don't know where to go, these deals offered by the airlines may help you to decide which location to visit.

An additional way to get good airfare prices is to use your airline miles whenever possible. If you are planning a trip ahead of time search for the best credit card that will offer you the best way to quickly gain these miles. For those who travel quite a bit, using airline travel miles will help to lower the cost of your tickets if not get you a completely free airline ticket. You may also be able to use extra airline miles for food, drinks and access to VIP lounges in various airports in addition to getting a discounted airline ticket or free upgrade from coach to first class.

Lastly, airline deals can be had by purchasing more than one airline ticket. Sometimes airlines will offer companion fares where you purchase one ticket at full advertised price and then get a second one for free or half the price. Either way you are saving money if more than one individual is traveling at the same time. Again , this information can be gained by visiting the airline's website or calling the airline directly to see what type of deals is being offered on airline tickets.

Clinton to Obama vs McCain: Who will control the world?

As the world's leading superpower, the United States represents what democracy stands for – equality for all, that is, for women, blacks and all other races the world over. Thus, as the number one country in the world, America must be led by the strongest candidate who will be able to put an end to senseless wars, and selfish imperialism. Political experts have exposed the weaknesses of the past United States administration including that of the present. Since Hillary Clinton is closely connected to the past, despite her strong leadership capabilities, she is a main suspect. She supported the Iraq-Afghanistan war which resulted in the deaths of innocent civilians and young American soldiers. These wars supported the culture of war and revenge, something Americans no longer want.

What all these boil down to is that the victory of Barack Obama over Hillary Cl8inton is a welcome development. It sis just and it is good not only for the United States of America but also for the democratic world. It also speaks positively for the death of racism, sinc3 as we all know, Barack Obama is African American. This means that at least, Americans have elected to support a candidate for president who can bring about the changes they desire without looking at the color of his skin. This means also that the must be hoping for a leader who could put a rapid end to the economic recession that is affecting their country and many countries throughout the world. A good leader can bring about positive changes and reforms needed to attain lasting world peace and economic sustainability. Americans have shown the world that they are thinking of what this candidate can do for America, and by virtue of its leadership in the democratic world, for the countries of the world that depend on American leadership.
As one concerned American pointed out, Hillary Clinton “has a divisive tendency” which is a significant weakness for a future president. In contrast, Barack Obama has so far shown that he has a firm stand against bad policies. He “inspires people, and appeals to independent and young” Americans. (“Clinton vs. Obama”)

What the United States and the world needs is change for the better and Obama is the best candidate who could spark changes. Even Hillary Clinton realized this truth and in her farewell speech to her candidacy, she had urged her supporters to back and support Barack Obama. This means encouraging eighteen million supporters to unite and vote for Obama as they had done for her. Since Hillary Clinton is a Democrat like Obama, this is only right, specially now that their opponent John McCain is showing signs of weakness with regards to his stand on the Iraq situation. If these Americans truly want changes for the better, politically, socially and economically, then they must go and unite behind Obama rather than behind McCain (Love, 7 June 2008).

The unqualified endorsement given by Hillary Clinton, former First lady and current U.S. Senator was however received in different ways by her leading supporters. Rep. Ricia Mc Mahon revealed that she will only support Obama “if he uses Clinton in a way that will show off her leadership skills and highlights the issues central to her campaign.” Since Obama had indicated that he's willing to have Clinton as running mate, then they should all support Obama.

Senate Presidaent Sylva Larsen, showing great loyalty right away affirmed her support for Obama. National Committeewoman Anita Freedman also expressed her willingness to do whatever Clinton Believes is good for the Democratic party. Former State Democratic Party Chairwoman Kathy Sullivan believes that Clinton brought almost everyone of her supporters to unite behind Obama so that the things they stood for will be moved forward when he becomes president. The loyalty of her followers to their cause should make them support the candidate whom she believes to become “a president worthy of our citizens.” More importantly, if Clinton does decide to run as Vice-Presidential running mate for Obama, then her supporters must also support Obama. The Democrats must stick to their party and even if the fight between Clinton and Obama for the presidency has created a gulf between members of the party, they should not spite Obama inasmuch as Clinton herself has declared her support for him as Democratic nominee for president. If they want a stronger Democratic party and a strong president, one who most Americans believe is capable of bringing in economic strength and peace, then all Clinton supporters should back Obama.
Is is not surprising that we are so involved in the US elections this year. Like Americans, we are interested in the outcome of the election because if elected, John McCain would be the first president born outside of the current 50 states (He was born in the Panama Canal Zone) and the first president from Arizona. If inaugurated in 2009, he would be the oldest US president (72 years and 144 days) to ascend to the presidency and second-oldest president to be inaugurated (Ronald Reagan was 73 years and 350 days old at6 his second inauguration) (“US Elections 2008).

As for his opponent, Obama, if elected, he would be the first president born in Hawaii and the first African American president. This would be a very significant shift from the past.
More importantly, we are so involved in the outcome of the US elections because as a former US colony and as a member of the World Trade Organization, our economy is closely linked to the American economy. Whatever is the outcome of the US presidential elections and whoever will become president and vice-president will surely affect the Philippine economy in terms of economic agreements, aid, loans, exports, imports and tariffs. In addition to this, the social, political and even cultural environment of the country will be affected by the US-Philippine relations that will be determined by the future US administration and its policies regarding the Philippines and other Asian or Third World countries. From the radical point of view, the Philippines remains to be a neocolony of the United States, making it reliant on America for its economic, and socio-political well-being.

What does being a neo-colony mean? This means that although we have gained our independence from the US, in reality, we remain its colony because our economy is linked to the American dollar. As pointed out by economists Vivar, et.al. (1998),
“economic dependence has given our trade a colonial character and is conditioned to benefit more the United States and Japan, two former colonizers. While this dependency of trade was seen glaringly du8ring the American period, the impact of free trade has given the United States full control of Philippine exports because all these were directed into the American market. Large-scale production of primary products catered to supplying raw materials for the American economy that supplied finished goods to us at higher prices.” In simple terms, this means that we depend greatly on Americans to purchase our raw materials. When the American economy in down, our economy also goes downhill. And as the state of the American economy depends on who is at the White House, then the outcome of the 2008 US presidential elections becomes a primary concern for us. At this time, the lowered value of the dollar, the slackened US economy, and the stiff prices of gasoline have resulted in an economic crisis that has affected the now more than 98 million Filipinos. With this serious state of the Philippine economy, the Filipinos are of course hoping that Americans will vote for the best man to the office of the presidency- someone who will be able to bring the American economy to its former healthy status and with it, the Philippine economy as well.

As one concerned citizen argued: There's only so much president can do or plan for.... What matters, then, is not the ability to lay out detailed plans a year ahead of time, but the ability to pick your fights, to stand firm against bad ideas, to insist on good ideas, and to be prepared to give and take to bring people on board behind a good plan when it kills a bad one.” (“Clinton vs Obama”).

The choices of the Americans – between McCain and Obama – will also have a direct impact on the social and political climate of the country. Will the new American president continue the Visiting Forces Agreement? Will he make the Philippines a priority area for the anti-terrorist movement or anti-Abu Sayyaf movement as Bush did? Will he continue to give aid to the Philippines or at least start giving more aid? What will his stand be in terms of the Philippines as a strategic military area? On the other hand, how will the Philippine president deal with the new president? These are the important questions that need answers as we wonder who the American public will vote for.

Also, since the US is part of the Big 5 of the World Trade Organization – meaning, it is one of the top 5 countries that control the World Trade Organization, the choice of the new American president will also have a huge impact on the other countries of the World that are members of the WTO, including the Philippines. To date, there are many complaints about the WTO and its effect on struggling economies like the Philippines and other Third World countries. The questions whether the new American president will be more benevolent and responsible about the needs or poor countries throughout the world is also very significant. Will he find remedies to change the policies of the WTO to offer higher and better pay for the environment and the natural resources of these Third World countries, to become the leader in promulgating just agreements that would refrain from monopolizing agricultural products and raking in greater profits for First World Countries.

In the same manner, we wonder how the new American president will influence the IMF or the International Monetary Fund which has its headquarters in the US; the United Nations and other important bodies. As the most powerful man in the world, he can play a very important role in changing the future of the world. We can only hope then, that the American public will make the right choince.

AS of June 11, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama leads John McCain among the registered voters, 47 to 41%, this according to an NBC News/Wall Street journal Poll. Also 61% of those who voted for Hillary Clinton favored Obama. The poll found Obama leading McCain among African Amercans, Hispanics, women, and blue-collar workers. However, among white men, McCain leads over Obama 55% to 35%. if Obama will have Clinton as vice-presidential running mate, they would defeat McCain and his running mate, NBC predicts. As Americans desire to have a president who can bring greater changes to certain policies, then Obama has a good chance of winning (Allen, 11 June 2008; www.yahoo.com).

References:

1. Allen, Jo Anne (11 June 2008), “Obama opens race with edge over McCain: poll” retrieved from June 12,2008
2. Elections 2008 (6 June 2008). “Obama Opens 6-point Lead” retrieved from on Junde 12, 2008
3. Evans, Benad Sam Hanand (12 June 2008), “Not all Democratic falling for Obama” retrieved on June 12, 2008
4. Love, Norma (7 June 2008), “NH Clinton Suuporters support decision” retrieved from June 11, 2008

Facebook Ignoramus

sa akong ka ignorante aning facebook. i added that pet application somethin.. and i never noticed that the space for the name was supposed to be for the puppy.. then i wrote my own name on it. shiet. the dog's name is now Aiken. LALEM!

aquarium overhaul

Got 4 angel fishes yesterday...
8 dwarf red mollies
and 20 zebra guppies. :>
...new fresh water plants pud diay.

Topas sa Bus

:/

Horns blowin,
Headlights blurredly pushin their way through the swirling dust speckles
as the bus halts in short intervals… escaping from the ties of Sibulan’s traffic.

Grabe jud bitaw ang traffic sa fiesta.

I'm free at last!

...

At last the rain has come as new buds grow from the once cracked land,
Stains of tears dashed from my cheeks with no trace...
Breath's so easy...
Life so beautiful...

Completely free from that long-kept sentiment...
YYYIIIPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :>

Le eché de menos tanto

Asi perdi el amor de mi vida.
Incluso aunque yo mire okey, no soy.
Como lo perdido de menos tanto

Si. El amor es realmente ciego.
Daños de amor, y lo evite.
Pero ahora realice que es mejor ser hecho daño
y ser amado
que estar bien
sin alguien amandole.

Le perdido de menos tanto
Le eche de menos tanto

By Buday

i grabbed this post from jade's blog (http://pseudocraxy.blogspot.com/). funny man gud. soo pathetic yet soo funny... put me into a state of scuttled madness the first time i read it.

It's titled Sugarrr Rrrush
(Sugar's at the center making the clit sign)




Sugar..sugar..sugar... I didn't know who the hell you were 'till I, along with my solid "kapamilya" crew watched your show last night. Kim Idol was funny...green... but funny, and so was Ate Gay,but you stole our hearts and underwear away! lol!

I knew of the "Sexbomb" dancers' existence, but I never idolized their cabaret-ish moves. However, when you came out and started gyrating, civilized as we really were...we hooted and screamed like drunken "kanto bois"! You were so enchanting that even my straight cousins have switched teams...said that you turned them all...lesbians!(yes even the fags)
Oh Sugarrr, T.V did not, does not, and will not do you justice! Even the pictures and videos aren't enough! We were just so lucky that you have pleased our eyes...live! I will never forget you...nor will my newly ordained lesbian crew..Ciao bella!

throw up

...

It made my palms sweat… For terror, dread, and sheer grisliness, the burning kick surpasses the littlest sanity left; even worse, the suspense was fully stretched out, then released all of a sudden… Just when you least expect it.

At 3 a.m., I pulled my self out of that drastic bus ride and whirled into the nearly deserted streets of Tanjay believing that too much drinking is really bad enough.

I WOULD NEVER EEEVVVEEERRRR DRINK THAT MUCH AGAIN. char

Cool Shows in Luce this year

SHIET SHIET SHIET!!! REPERTORY!!!!! REPERTORY IS COMING! SHIET!
and... Ballet Manila? Ok lang... if it isn't for Lisa,, bogs. hehehe.


WWWaaaaahhhhhhh!!! i can't believe these shows are actually coming. hehehehe lookin forward to see 'em....

Miss Ya'll

They stayed ceaselessly yet flew like a butterfly. How I wish I could bring back those times where things were so slack, where Steds was our lounge, El Amigo our porch, Country Gents our music room, and Hayahay as our Embassy.

To these people, thanks a bunch! I miss ya’ll!

- Mara – always a delight for me whenever I go home finding Mara Reading a book on a bed of cigarette butts in our boarding house.

- jello – why couldn’t I separate jello’s name from mara’s? hehehe. It just goes along e. hehe. So miss his astonishing wit and model-like structure that naturally make everyone take a second glance. Hehehe

- Richu – Kahayag’s greatest. The group has changed a lot when he flew to New Zealand. The person who made an immense impact to everyone’s lives. Char. Haha

- Nitz – haaaayyy… the world is never boring whenever nits is around. Bow lang jud ko ni nitz coz di jud ma pikon if okrayon siya. Hehehe and he’s easy to fool. hehehe

- Angel Amador – The muse of the brilliant bums. The party planner, the beautiful, the butterfly, literally a bum. Hehehe her beauty just goes along with her natural wit. (just like jello)

- Mich d Guzman – one of the few pa bayi bayi na brilliant bum. Hehe. Her smile and her charm just drive anyone to see her as a sweet little rose. Hahaha char.

- Dindin- the sweetest of them all. I so miss her hugs and kisses and her naturally lovable character. Mmwuahhh!

- Paula Ricka – Tteeeelllllll hhhiiimmm!!! Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes……… the only MAN in the ALTO group of Campus Choristers. Kareoke Queen!!!!!

- Mama Verns – Bigatin! Sexy! Clever! Beautiful! And go with the flow. That’s what I like bout mama verns.

- Mama Frans – the Mama of the Silliman University Kahayag Dance Troupe and to the whole of SU College of Performing Arts. She makes everyone feel secure with her presence.

- Tara – Bagay ra jud iya name sa iya personality na TARAY… super taray. Hehehe and sooo Maldita! But I love her for that.


- Claudio – his unpredictable emo side, the laughter, tears, and tarayanay. Hehehe.

- Monete – Kebs sa lahat. Way bikil. Pakang and I mean pina ka pakang sa kahayag.

- Anji – just like monete. Brown version lang. hehehe

- Golda – just like monete and anji. Tambok lang. heheh

- Bea – Though we never got the chance to spend that much time, this person taught me a lot. as.in a lot!

- Cheenee – One of the few people in Kahayag who has the real attitude of a performer. My dancing partner for life.


- Ate Gang – always there to talk about anything when she’s not bc in the Luce office.

- Ren-Ren – her outgoing personality and her big voice! Hehehehe


And to others, daghan pa… update ko lang ni later.

Pics pics pics

BORED HERE AT THE HOTEL... POST NALANG PICS...

mE, Cheenee, and Sweet

Went out... M02... got bored at the hotel so gawas nalang.. a couple of cocktails and fries then hotel again. hehehe.. We also got a 20-inch pizza... (wala na apil coz na erase kalit ang pics.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) kinsa'y dili sapoton!

Ang Baso Nga Nag Kapot Sa Atong Pagka Amigo

Farewell Chung!

It was a long while since he’d been back to Hayahay… months since he’d felt the Reggae beat and all he could remember was the bunch of crazy friends jumping over sizzling heavens and mislaid haze. He was drinking it all in, his eyes sparkling with pleasure. He was a man who loved every facet of Dumaguete’s nightlife. He executed half bows and besos as his friends came in short intervals… It was a despedida for a friend who was about to leave for New Zealand… and the night started as the lights were turned dim for the Reggae beat to prowl into everyone’s entity. He swarmed with his friends who he considered as shimmering necklaces of bright, priceless gems, strung together, enhancing each other, a myriad of treasures hidden in his empathy. He felt it as his home. As he rounded his glance into every corner of his friends faces, he felt the first realization that none of them is staying forever.

“See, I told you. Not that I suppose that will keep you at home,” a friend whispered. But there was no harm in this. He could walk like this in the evening. It hadn’t been risky after all. And he knew that though they’re not there at all time, the bond would vigorously pull them again together in no time.

A despedida… He knew that they would not be satisfied forever with a brief evening stroll or with the usual rhum shotting sessions he usually did with the crowd in Barefoot. Hayahay was most embracing for their anticipated pleasure. And indeed it did. A salvo of cocktail drinks covered the entire surface of his table that he shared with six others. And from the cozy warmth of the place all seven of them felt the swirling storm of alcohol. Tequila Sunrise on first round… followed by the hot Blue Marguarita… then Screw Driver… Sparkling Kurant… White Russian…. and a shot of Jose Quervo. He looked with awe, and he spelled out every single bloody set, knew every piece, every kick, the worth paying drinks available, the textures, the shades.

He made endless inquiries of his friend who was leaving for New Zealand and danced outrageously with the circle during two hours of unbearably painful feeling of being left behind. By two hours past midnight it was over. He as well as his friends knew all that there was to be told; Happy Sad goodbyes, Reminiscences of intrigues and rivalries that went funny in the long run, forgotten enemies and grudge-bearing friends.

Friends were gems in his treasure chest… valued… taken cared of… yet one is about to be taken out for a while perhaps to stand out with pride among them all, to be polished further.

The night ended as he reached out to take him in his arms as he fought back his tears. And the question that echoed in his mind was: “When will the most precious gem be back?”

Keep It Sane

The environment has been a fad among students and environmentalists ever since the advent of the hasty global warming. Peoples around the globe have been making measures to essentially protect mother earth from global warming, a barrage of environmentalist groups have been popping out, and students go just about unwise now volunteering for these so called “groups that make a difference”. Yet for how long can they run naked along the streets? For how long can they go rallying, blocking corporations that are on for building huge structures in the middle of the forest or perhaps projects that are about to dig sea beds for oil exploration? For how long can they madly paint their whole body and stand by the streets? I have nothing against these kids’ advocacies. I’m an environmentalist in my own business too. But there’s nothing I see on their actions that actually help the environment effectively. It may be impossible to fathom the fact that our environment doesn’t necessarily need these groups to be confined. Our environment desires tangible actions from each individual who dwells in its domain. It doesn’t have to be enormous measures like that of Al Gore’s “Inconvenient Truth” (If we could do something like that, why not?). I’m talking about little actions that make a big difference if everyone would actually carry them out. All we have to do is common sense – stop doing inexcusable things that destroys the environment. That’s it! And I presume no one’s ignorant about this matter. All these groups have to do is to facilitate discussions and campaigns that target human behavior towards nature and that’s about it. If they don’t want people to look at them like a bunch of crazy kids running around, I suggest they spare those extra things they are doing among themselves from their interest (you know what I mean).

People just need to be further educated about this matter for them to do the right thing for mother earth and nothing more.

For the "green groups", KEEP IT SANE.

Taking Relief From a Stranger

Sometimes talking all night with a stranger who doesn’t know who we truly are is somewhat an unruffled relief, a getaway from our walled reality. An outsider, an alien of some sort who freely pays attention to whatever lamentations we have to discharge… their world is remotely off from ours making ourselves to liberally belch our innermost entity’s howling and grief. We need people like these, people who know the least about us, people who we discern can give the purest untainted opinion to our anguish. They are what they are; strangers, unfamiliar people, aliens. Yet they are the most definite people who can perfectly listen to us, people who don’t take sides, prejudice, and biases.

Strangers are canvases for me. Knowing their nature isn’t so much of significance. I craft personas in them… a delusion of some sort that drives out my ingenuity. Every so often I let them exist who they logically are. A swift aid for my load, I call it.

It has never been taxing talking with them… In their midst, I can be so valid, so unfastened, so free. They are there at all time to listen, to give an unadulterated remark, to dispute, to console. And at the end of the day, they remain strangers to me and so am I to them.

Death

I stride along ambitions,
seizing whatever occurrences that come along my path...
Then I stand on my own pedestal...
Then my breath slowly runs out
as my fortune's buried beneath your dwelling.

Death is what i live for.

Of being a "Brilliant Bum"

1. A twinkling light from afar as you look through the window on a lonely Friday evening. You knew there was something that went on that night. But no one was there to embrace and pull you from your sleepless solitude. The road underneath was on its usual-busy-midnight-hours as party goers drove their way to various restos and coolest bars of their choice. Something was towing you to get there… you desired to. But you were afraid, afraid that something mortifying might have happened when you stride along the night. It was 10 p.m.

2. You woke up on your desired waking hour. 6 a.m. as usual. Your class was at 8 a.m. School was as lonely as you thought it would actually be. You only got an hour for lunch and class started immediately after. You went home dissatisfied with your day. You wanted friends who could make your burden lighter… but there were none.

3. A nonchalant drop of tear cascaded on your left cheek as you stared at the ceiling. You wiped it, sniffed, and pierced your look through the blinding dimness to the clock hanging on a distant wall. It was 1 a.m. You brainstormed reasons why you couldn’t sleep. It was your first instance to be consciously awake on the darkest hours. The alarm clock rang. It was 7 a.m.

4. School was like none other. You befriended some teachers and quarreled with a number of professors. Mr. Postman delivered your second batch of class cards with straight A grades. Then you saw your self walking on the Luce stage receiving your honors. Couldn’t be any better than that.

5. You gently lathered the shampoo on your hair in your fancy shower room after spending a day at the beach. Your friends couldn’t get enough with the sunlight hours so you decided to go spend the rest of the night in Hayahay. You took your first premier puff of cigarette there… you burned the entire stick. Then took another… the next thing you knew, you had 10.

6. School was exhausting. And you came in late. You took a couple of final examinations sober. You haven’t studied that much and you didn’t expect the second test to be on that day. You flunked.

7. You found your way downstairs while putting on your dark green Gio shirt. You put your wallet in your skinny jeans right pocket, lighted the cigarette which you held for long, sandwiched between your lips, and stepped out from the loft to get in one of those ever accessible motor cabs parading on Dumaguete’s streets. Camino party started just a moment after you arrived.

8. INC’s on the next batch of class cards. You answered your mother’s call and made every reasons there are in that world why you got such stumpy grades.

9. You just finished all requirements for graduation and your toga’s tucked in your wardrobe. You took your lone stride on that stage and shook hands with the penguins handing you the Certificate and legal proof of the commencement.

10. You checked for the twinkling light from afar as you look through the window on a Friday evening. You knew there was something that went on from that distance. You checked your new Gucci wristwatch. It was 10 p.m. Then a moment, a blowing horn, you grabbed your cigarette pack and walked out the pad. You glanced back, stared at the window for a sec, took a deep breath, and hopped in the car.

Blab #8

Just this afternoon I thought of feeding my blog again. It’s been a long time since my last post and I’m more often than not used to leaving my blog empty for a day or two… but there are quite a lot of things this week and perhaps for the next weeks to come that I really have to attend to besides blogging.

I spent the entire week working and finding time to just chat with old friends who in way or another made my life in college extra special. And I’m glad that I’ve found time to have a reunion of some sort with a few.

Just last week, after five months of not minding each other’s businesses, I’ve finally drove my old friend’s emotional side up when I sent him a “message of peace” on friendster. Good thing he replied and from then on we became good friends again. We’re now actually txting and trying to salvage what we’ve actually thrown away. I haven’t met him yet since our peace treaty. Heheheh. But he promised to treat me within this week. Hmmm. I’m quite excited.

Meanwhile, Angel The Butterfly txted asking me to formulate a question for a miss gay pageant (coz mag judge napud siya ug miss gay). Hehehehehe. And so I gave her this: “For decades, homosexuals have been consistently participating in Sta. Cruzan the Philippines over, parading themselves as women of May. Now what is your reaction of the Catholic church’s decision of banning homosexuals from the spectacle?” I remember the time when we happen to judge a Miss Gay pageant in one of the Barangays here in Dumaguete years ago. Hahaha. I say it was the most scandalous experience we've ever had. Hahahaha. And me judging in the Mr. and Ms. Tanjay Charter last month. Look at us, SIKAT. Kidding! Hahahaha

I also got the chance to hang out again with Richu (soon to be flying for New Zealand), Boen (Soon to bring SUKDT back on its feet), and Angel (my theater play director) at Café Antonio, Coco Amigos, and Barefoot last Friday.

Yesterday, after fourty eight years, I met Jello (Presently a writer of Sun Star Cebu) at El Amigo. If you want a crazy conversation, drinking bottles of beer with Jello does that to you. I remember how he used to get so drunk back in our crazy college escapades, how he dreadfully puked at STEDS, etc… hehehe. Anyhoo, His slim physique hasn’t changed at all, except for a few pounds he gained on his belly. Hehehehe. We started drinking at 5:30 p.m. and toast our last shot at 10:00 p.m. Geee… I never thought I would ever drink that much beer again. (coz sayang ang workout. Hehehe) But Jello’s worth a few extra pounds. So ok lang. hehehe.

It’s always been great when erudite old friends come to town to see what has been added to the legacy they actually left behind. And talking with them is no less than like eating the most expensive gourmet meal in an Italian restaurant. Char.

Mao lang na. Bow. :> CARPE DIEM – sakto ba spelling? hehe

Camino Monthsary

soooooooooooooooooooooo waassssttttteeeeedddddddd.... makaulaw.... hahahahahahahahahahah


Buday - lady of the night (hihi), Monet - Pretty Driver (hehe), Johana - Sexy Star (haha)

Hazel

If there’s such word as “monthsary”, a slang word that is frequently abused by young lovers, we have celebrated it last night. This is not just a monthsary of some sort. This is “The” monthsary of a 4-week successive non-stop party in El Camino that led our selves to hold close every moment as we sit on that bar with the most striking cocktail drink and cancer fumes fleeting across our faces.

Camino has never failed our anticipated delight. Surprisingly, we never realized that we actually have been partying in Camino for a month, not until “Brownman Motion” dissatisfied the crowd in Hayahay last night. Maybe Reggae isn’t so amusing on Fridays. tsk tsk. So we hopped in Camino and used up the rest of the night outrageously dancing along with the Friday RnB. I must admit I was really poor last night. haha. But thanks to Wowi who saved me from the dearth of abundance. Hehe…

Nice thing about the bar is that the party just sinks in to you as you take your first stride on the doorway. Buday and I weren’t new-fangled though. But it has always been something that we thirst for when the sun sets on Friday afternoons. Last night was a discharge of our crave to push the party to the limit. And as we toast to our monthsary, we have down pat those yesterdays - how they led us to that very hour, and how they led us to that place.

Blab #7

My three initial days in Dumaguete made a lot of upbeat difference to my schedule. Now I finally have enough time to work for Sky Cable. I’m fairly in high spirits with what we've (I and Berna) done for the Silliman Channel. Producing shows for a channel is not an easy job. The planning wasn’t an effortless thing either. There’s just the two of us and to pack the channel with stream of segments that would dash from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. stresses all our senses. Whoah! We’re close to the finish line though. Yet another busy week awaits, another sleepless period extracting our creative juices out, gathering materials, editing videos, etc… etc. Pero lami ra japun mig mga lawas. hehe... The Important thing is, we love and we take pleasure in what we’re doing. And to tell you frankly, nothing matches up seeing our creation aired on TV. An effort well paid off.

Above and beyond all these things listed on my organizer, I still manage to work out 2 hours daily. Haaayyy… lami lang jud puyo Dumaguete ba. Hehehe..

Dreaming

These are the things that I really really want to do before I depart from this life. (Ambisyon ra ni ha)

1. Become a company member of a theater group in CCP. (Bayanihan, Repertory, or Tanghalang Pilipino)
2. Have my own house and a car.
3. Go surfing in Oahu, Hawaii or in Costa Rica.
4. Watch all Broadway shows
5. Produce a TV show
6. Play a tennis match with Roger Federer and Venus Williams
7. Watch a final tennis match in Wimbledon
8. Watch Lea Salonga’s concert
9. Watch Mariah’s concert
10. Watch Usher’s concert
11. If Miss Saigon is staging again, I wanna be part of the cast or crew
12. Meet Opra in person
13. Meet Tyra in person
14. Have a business on my own
15. Go beer drinking in Munich Germany’s Oktoberfest (I don’t know why it’s spelled like that)
16. Stop smoking before I reach 25
17. Watch a show in Beijing’s new national theater
18. Live at least a year in downtown New York
19. Have a coffee break in one of Paris’ beside-the-street cafes
20. Work for a super strict, stern boss
21. Ride in Vegas’ new 120 mph roller coaster
22. See what’s inside Taj Mahal
23. Go on a Euro trip
24. Spend a week in the Venecian Hotel (maski asa basta Venecian Hotel)
25. eat a 10,000 US dollar meal at Burj Al Arab

…. To be continued. I’m sooooooooo sleeeeepppyyyyyyyyyy

...

Ok.. so it's 2 a.m. and i still can't sleep. took some medicine but it's not workin... someone's clinging to me and it's bitter sweet... said i'm head over hills but it aint that deep.

Blab #6

Wahhh… I’ve worked out my last day in Power Gym alone. Lonely yet I’ve made the best out of my last. I’ve always been workin out on Sundays, usually bashing around with few of my gym mates yet today has been really forlorn. I would’ve wanted everyone to be there to hear my last farewell… but well. sigi nalang. Guys, don’t worry…. I’ll be visiting you soon. Hehe. And pls don’t get me wrong. I’m not stopping. I’ll be in Dumaguete for a month to do my internship and I’m continuing my program there as well. So mao na.

I’m looking forward to workout in Cellutrim again. I missed the immense facilities they boast. Yes it’s actually quite expensive there but it’s all worth it. You just really have to spend a bit to a pricey gym when you want a "luxury work out". And not just that, you really get EVERYTHING in Cellutrim; the temperature’s cool, machines are enough for a number of buff to use, a sauna bath, and the place' spacious so you get to breath pleasant oxygen all the time (you know what i mean). Wahhh.. I cant wait to start my new program in Cellutrim… yipeeee!!!! So Richard (the gym instructor), see you on Tuesday!

Spanish craze

Se está más allá de un moonfull puesto que mi alma sometida a la realidad y al paso caminado a través de su yarda guardada. Entonces un momento, una mirada enredó la naturaleza más profunda, quitada los lazos, somberly cubiertos el mi ser con una vertiente de la vulnerabilidad.